Learning to drive with ASD

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice or reassurance from anyone who has navigated learning to drive with ASD and high anxiety.

At the start of June, I started an intensive manual driving course. I managed two 4-hour days before my instructor became ill and we had to pause. Honestly, I have really struggled. Most of the time, I was in a total panic, not necessarily because I thought I’d crash, but because I felt overwhelmed by the fear that I will never be able to grasp it. The thought of struggling stops me from even trying.

My anxiety gets so high that during the post-lesson reflection, I literally cannot remember anything. My mind just blanks it all out.

My instructor is actually really good and understands my ASD, but he pointed out that because I blank out and can’t remember the lesson, it’s hard to progress past focusing on one thing at a time. He has now switched me to bi-weekly lessons, and I just feel a deep sense of dread every time I think about them.

I need to learn because I’m moving to a semi-rural area soon where the public transport isn't great. Usually, I feel like my autism doesn’t stop me from doing much, but this experience has completely taken over. It makes me feel like a little girl again. Basic things I’m normally okay with, like processing left vs. right and multitasking, just completely fly out the window.

My family suggested switching to an automatic so there are physically fewer things to focus on, but I'm still terrified I won't be able to do it. My little sister also has her test coming up and is doing amazingly, which makes me feel like a massive failure by comparison.

I feel incredibly alone. I know driving anxiety is common, but this feels like it's on a completely different level.

Standard advice isn't really working for me, so I’d love to hear from other autistic brains who have been through this. Thank you so much!

Parents
  • I'm actually just about to do a driving lesson today and have my (third attempt at) the road test in a little under a week. I would agree with the automatic transmission and shorter lesson suggestions forsure, even a half an hour driving feels like a lot for me, can't imagine 4 hours. 

    I've gotten pretty good at it now but still have some bad days. I started practicing in industrial parking lots during weekends, specific I know but there was never anyone there so it was easy to learn the physical aspect, and then residential neighborhoods, only later commercial/busy areas and highways. Also practicing in the same areas repeatedly helps, and would recommend flash cards for more uncommon signs, parking uphill/downhill etc. Physical ones work well or you could try a digital program like Anki which does spaced repetition algorithms. Anki was the only way I passed the quiz/learners test lol. 

    The big thing really is staying calm I think. Sometimes it's very difficult though.

Reply
  • I'm actually just about to do a driving lesson today and have my (third attempt at) the road test in a little under a week. I would agree with the automatic transmission and shorter lesson suggestions forsure, even a half an hour driving feels like a lot for me, can't imagine 4 hours. 

    I've gotten pretty good at it now but still have some bad days. I started practicing in industrial parking lots during weekends, specific I know but there was never anyone there so it was easy to learn the physical aspect, and then residential neighborhoods, only later commercial/busy areas and highways. Also practicing in the same areas repeatedly helps, and would recommend flash cards for more uncommon signs, parking uphill/downhill etc. Physical ones work well or you could try a digital program like Anki which does spaced repetition algorithms. Anki was the only way I passed the quiz/learners test lol. 

    The big thing really is staying calm I think. Sometimes it's very difficult though.

Children
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