Learning to drive with ASD

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice or reassurance from anyone who has navigated learning to drive with ASD and high anxiety.

At the start of June, I started an intensive manual driving course. I managed two 4-hour days before my instructor became ill and we had to pause. Honestly, I have really struggled. Most of the time, I was in a total panic, not necessarily because I thought I’d crash, but because I felt overwhelmed by the fear that I will never be able to grasp it. The thought of struggling stops me from even trying.

My anxiety gets so high that during the post-lesson reflection, I literally cannot remember anything. My mind just blanks it all out.

My instructor is actually really good and understands my ASD, but he pointed out that because I blank out and can’t remember the lesson, it’s hard to progress past focusing on one thing at a time. He has now switched me to bi-weekly lessons, and I just feel a deep sense of dread every time I think about them.

I need to learn because I’m moving to a semi-rural area soon where the public transport isn't great. Usually, I feel like my autism doesn’t stop me from doing much, but this experience has completely taken over. It makes me feel like a little girl again. Basic things I’m normally okay with, like processing left vs. right and multitasking, just completely fly out the window.

My family suggested switching to an automatic so there are physically fewer things to focus on, but I'm still terrified I won't be able to do it. My little sister also has her test coming up and is doing amazingly, which makes me feel like a massive failure by comparison.

I feel incredibly alone. I know driving anxiety is common, but this feels like it's on a completely different level.

Standard advice isn't really working for me, so I’d love to hear from other autistic brains who have been through this. Thank you so much!

Parents
  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    My family suggested switching to an automatic so there are physically fewer things to focus on

    I'd second that suggestion. I switched to an automatic a while ago, and wouldn't go back. There's a lot less to do compared with a manual, and it's very responsive compared to the less advanced automatics of many years ago. Also, electric cars / EVs - which are seemingly the future of driving - don't have manual gearboxes. 

    You might find this article interesting. It includes:

    "Emma Bush, the managing director of AA's driving school, said the need to know how to drive a manual car was becoming "irrelevant to many"."

    BBC News - End of the road for manual drivers? More learners opt for automatics in tests

    There's also some advice here from the NAS, which might be useful:

    NAS - Driving

    It includes a link to a video that might be useful for your driving instructor, along with some tips that you could share with them.

    I'd suggest discussing your anxiety with your GP. These articles might also be helpful:

    NAS - Anxiety

    NAS - Seeking help with mental health

Reply
  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    My family suggested switching to an automatic so there are physically fewer things to focus on

    I'd second that suggestion. I switched to an automatic a while ago, and wouldn't go back. There's a lot less to do compared with a manual, and it's very responsive compared to the less advanced automatics of many years ago. Also, electric cars / EVs - which are seemingly the future of driving - don't have manual gearboxes. 

    You might find this article interesting. It includes:

    "Emma Bush, the managing director of AA's driving school, said the need to know how to drive a manual car was becoming "irrelevant to many"."

    BBC News - End of the road for manual drivers? More learners opt for automatics in tests

    There's also some advice here from the NAS, which might be useful:

    NAS - Driving

    It includes a link to a video that might be useful for your driving instructor, along with some tips that you could share with them.

    I'd suggest discussing your anxiety with your GP. These articles might also be helpful:

    NAS - Anxiety

    NAS - Seeking help with mental health

Children
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