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Does anyone else with ASD ever feel like they irritate people?

TwelveTwelve

Apologies if this seems like an odd question!

But does anyone with ASD ever feel like they irritate people? Friends, family, colleagues etc. Sometimes the feedback I get is that I "give off a vibe" that possibly seems like I am dis interested or annoyed, I'm not, but it seems to create an environment where lately I feel like I annoy people for simply being myself.

I'm pretty sure I really struggle to recognize emotion in other people, and I worry that might mean I miss the mark, but I don't know what is my ASD and what is other people's general issues. Has anyone had any similar experiences? Do other folks on here with ASD ever feel like this? 

I don't want to irritate people obviously, but I also don't want to blame my ASD on something completely unassociated, and I especially don't want to think people are irritated when they are not, it's just my poor understanding of reading peoples emotions!

Parents

  • I have been referred to as aloof or cold a lot around people. Online I can be seen as somewhat opposite. From my experience we don't miss the mark/cues as much as we fear we do, at least for me anyway. I do worry I annoy people though. 

  • in reply to DarkElf

    Hi Darkelf, its interesting you also worry you annoy people! Sometimes I will say things and I either know it instantly is not recieved well, or sometime later someone may reference it as a point of contention. Frustratingly, in my own mind I know I didn't mean it to offend or upset,  but struggle to convey that. 

    When it's close family and friends, it crushes me, and all I do is overthink after the fact. Then when someone says "you said this, and it upset, offended or annoyed me" it feels like I'm being gaslit because I know for a fact I didn't mean it that way. But I think thats my interpretation of the conversation, as I am starting to realise it probably is me and I need to be more careful in what I say. 

    I guess that may be a part of ASD? 

  • in reply to TwelveTwelve

    Well I always worry I am burdening people mainly but also worry how I come across (if I'm overbearing). And sometimes I know what I will say will annoy or frustrate no matter how I say it. I wouldn't say I'm blunt but at times I can struggle to be tactful and empathetic even though I want to be. 

    I think one of the issues can be eye contact, most if not everyone with ASD hates giving it. I am decent at it though, what I tend to do is focus on something near the eye of the person I'm speaking to. Sometimes though people can figure that out, my last therapist did at least anyway.

    It's part of ASD, and realistically could be one of the most universally common issues in regards to socializing for us.

  • in reply to DarkElf

    I had never even considered that! Eye contact is a huge problem for me, I would be sat back to back with people if I could Joy. I had never actually thought that may be creating barriers. 

    Why do you feel you are a burdening people, if you don't mind me asking? I get it though, or at least I get the feeling that if I am being my weird, stimmy self, I wear people out, which is burdensome. 

    Did you find being diagnosed / realising you were autistic helped or made things worse?

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  • in reply to DarkElf

    I had never even considered that! Eye contact is a huge problem for me, I would be sat back to back with people if I could Joy. I had never actually thought that may be creating barriers. 

    Why do you feel you are a burdening people, if you don't mind me asking? I get it though, or at least I get the feeling that if I am being my weird, stimmy self, I wear people out, which is burdensome. 

    Did you find being diagnosed / realising you were autistic helped or made things worse?

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