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Is it normal to feel embarrassed?

Els

I got diagnosed with autism in November 2024. I am still figuring out ways to manage life a bit better since I feel like I’ve been “regressing” since (I know this is completely normal) What I would like to know is if it’s normal to feel embarrassed about having autism? I think, especially nowadays with social media, people have made a big joke of autism and it’s very made fun of. It’s almost like I have to hide it from people. I’ve only told a few close friends and family and I try not to tell anyone else. I don’t necessarily want to feel embarrassed. But a part of me is. It’s like people will look at me differently or treat me differently if I tell them.

Anyone else?

  • Life is hard, so only play the Autism card when it's in your best interest. 

  • I think I would only tell my dog. People are just too difficult.

    Sorry, it is not advice, just frustration I guess.

  • Hi Els, 

    I can feel embarrassed, but more than that, I am worried about how people knowing could negatively impact me. With personal relationships I'm not concerned because if someone doesn't accept me, I'm better off looking for friendship elsewhere. But in a work context, there is discrimination, whether intentional or accidental. 

    I don't believe there's anything about Autism that a person should feel embarrassed about. But that's of course very easy to say, and much harder in some situations for a person to believe. 

    There is no requirement to tell someone, and I can see how that could seem a safe option. 

    What I find really challenging with friends is where you tell someone and they totally minimise how hard it can be for me. The intention may be kind, but it can disempower and belittle. 

    One thing I have learned in great detail this last year+ (and having just formally been diagnosed) is just how different any individual person's experience of being autistic is from many of the media stereotypes. I think that makes it harder as it can create yet another set of expectations that others can then put upon me. 

  • I told my wheelchair rugby club and they just take the piss now and said 'we could have told you that. Its more my family because they don't really get it. But I don't feel embarrassed, I feel more more embarrassed that I didn't realize until the past 6 months and there is all this IRL and online support that I always needed which I can access now. I feel the more people you tell and explain it too, the more they will accept it and you will feel less embarrassed. You need to be careful who you tell and feel safe about it. I don't free I have regressed, I just feel I have stopped doing stuff I couldn't do to begin with and I know why I do things now.