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“You gotta work hard and just push through”

aurelis

Something along these lines. So when like today, I’ve woken up and not done nothing but be in bed until mid afternoon, I feel guilty. I’m not at work being active and being productive. And I don’t know how to separate working hard with how I beat myself up. 

I’m able to notice more things that I know will make me shut down and struggle and more able to realise that I can’t push through as vigorously as I want to the following day. But I feel this strong sense of guilt when I always get distracted, or crash into anxieties and depressions, that I’m not doing enough, and that I need to work harder to have a place in this world. 

I compare myself to others and previous generations who had no choice but to tough things out, and use that as my parameter. And not ever being able to compete at that level just fills me with a sense of failure.

Parents

  • I'm 64 and I've spent my life, pushing through and toughing things out and now my body is paying the price, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia and hyper mobility in my joints. My advice is stop pushing, stop comparing yourself to previous generations, yes many had hard lives, but many would also not begrudge you the relative ease of 21st C life. I remember an ex yelling at me about wanting a washing machine and tumble dryer, romanticing his mothers hours spent over the sink do the washing for 8 kids and that she never complained. His face nearly fell off the front of his head, when she saw the washer-dryer and said how much she wished she could have had something like that, instead of spending hours over the sink hand washing clothes for 8 kids.

    You don't need to work harder, worker smarter instead, give yourself time and space for the things you enjoy, that bring you peace. 

    Maybe when you feel the need to beat yourself up for being tired and wanting to stay in bed, ask yourself where this particular stick you beat yourself with came from? It must have come from somewhere and probably has an inner monolgue to go with it, who's voice is it? Once you recognise where this stick came from and who and what gave it to you and told you to beat yourself with it, it can finally become firewood

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    This is so good to hear! I wish I could make that stick into firewood. 

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