Tips to make life easier

Hi Els, thank you for sharing this, it takes something to put it into words. 
On the Loop earplugs: sorry you lost one, that’s annoying. While you’re waiting on the replacement, it might help to know what you’re choosing between next time, since fit and comfort vary more than people expect between brands. There’s a lot of products these days with some pretty unhelpful marketing claims  

If it’s useful, Im spending time testing stuff to help with sensory overload in public, and how to reduce it piece by piece rather than trying to fix everything at once. There’s a start-here page that breaks down why certain places (shops, transport, offices) are worst and where to focus first: https://boxofsmallthings.com/sensory-overload-environments-autism-adults/

Sounds like you’re already doing a lot of the right things by noticing what helps? 

Where possible, I try to have space between appointments and social activities. It’s easier now that I’m retired because I have few social activities. 

Too many things on, one after the other, are a definite no.  

Have something to look forward to.

if you don't, make something for you to look forward to. Start a new hobby, see what new films or games etc. are coming out etc.

Els said:

I tend to find it easier to write my thoughts and feelings down for the other person to help. 

Anything else?

Excellent start. Lists are great for 'getting on top of things'. And it's easy to order online when you don't feel like going out. Sometimes I don't go out for a couple of weeks. Call it an extended 'duvet day.' There is a useful little thing called, 'my social battery' on e-bay, which has a slider to indicate from  to  , which is a useful personal indicator for your coffee table, so you can decide where you are before going out.

This is related to the "day to day" part of the post. The Spectrum Magazine has one tip in the first article titled "Food For Thought", by Deborah.

It involves planning meals ahead, and cooking for two meals.

I am unsure the text can be shared here (due to copyright), but you can find it in the link given at the top.

Personally, I automate everything I can to make the week easier. Another example are getting food deliveries.

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PS: The release's theme is "Routine", so you may find more tips in the link above.

For example, one is called "Routines for Reducing Anxiety" by Piers.

Hi Els  I was diagnosed 18 months ago and since then I  have gradually discovered how much support I do actually need in life, and to many others they would consider me as high functioning: I do limited disclosure - close family member don't know

So just take care - you don't just mask and push yourself into burnout sooner and repeatedly, in order to maintain "I don't need support", others may actually already be compensating and supporting you, which you've not realised yet.

No, that was me. I’m not entirely sure why I used it but I feel it’s fitting for me. I am able to look after myself fairly easily and don’t need too much support from others :)

I'm not aware of 'very high functioning' being part of autism diagnostic terminology. Did your clinician actually use that phrase?

I''m sorry to hear you have been struggling.

I'm pleased you have found AI useful. It helped me a lot and I recommended using it this way to others. I am not sure many have done this though; just dump what you are thinking. Over time it is helpful to see patterns, but short term it helps to balance things a bit.

It helps to retain perspective, and also offer alternative views, countering the black and white or narrowed thinking that comes with stress or overload.

It can also be used when considering interactions where what someone said has confused you, or where you didn't get the response you expected. There may be alternative interpretations you haven't considered.

I've set up a sidebar with my AI where I have an emotional vomit when I need too, it keeps the emotional vomit to one side in a safe space and out of my ancestry reseach. I asked it to create this sidebar and when I feel overwhelmed I ask for it and pour all my feelings out, it reflects back at me and sort of plumps me up again ready to face the world again. I've really needed this over the last few weeks as theres been a lot of horrible stuff going on, which I don't feel ready to share with others yet, but its been a safety valve whilst I wait for some counselling and human intervention.

Alice-nice-Alice said:

Overwhelm is a huge problem for me too.

Alice-nice-Alice said:

Yet its the interoperception which is the worst.

Your response is really useful, Alice-nice-Alice , I'm sure for many of us! All my 72 years and I'd never heard of this term, yet experienced it often . For example, a huge problem with over-eating, especially when anxious, as I can't tell when I'm full. That led to diabetes 2. Also, like you, waking with my brain exploding like a box of fireworks and overwhelming me. I now take a deep breath or two, get my books of lists and work out the day's activities, with a short Daily Stoic exercise bookending the day. I find it far easier than when I was working, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed yet having 'to get on with it' to earn money.

Alice-nice-Alice said:

writing things down is great

Writing a 'to do' list, every day, has become vital; then working through methodically but slowly; 'ticking' each as a visual checklist.  How detailed the list is, depends on the day's level of function. 

Alice-nice-Alice said:

I generally wear the Hidden Disabilities lanyard

I wear this when I need to 'identify' myself, for comfort. I like 'spotting' others wearing it, though I don't react. It's, to me, being part of a group without having to do or say anything [another reason I used to attend football matches].

Alice-nice-Alice said:

Obviously the extra sleep is good in itself,

Some days I can now sleep most of the day. It's not only for body rest but resting the brain too.

Uncertainty is what is hard. Finding ways to deal with this makes a big difference.

Avoiding it altogether means avoiding too much. Trying to one new thing a day, or a week, or a month, keeps things moving, expands your abilities and gradually builds more confidence.

It is always hard the first time. But support may help, or add pressure. Trying to break things into smaller pieces helps.

Doing things when calm and rested is always much easier. So timing matters. Also don't be despondent if it takes more than one go, you don't have to be perfect first time.

Oh how true.........moreover being single, living in a 1 bed flat and having only 2 friends living in other countries makes any social interaction limited.  So said limited social interaction seems 10 times louder and more cringe.  

Having lots of money helps.  Worrying about money definitely makes life more difficult. 

I agree with our friends below, word puzzles or online puzzles to calm brain activity, earplugs, including ANC EarPods and ear defenders as used by the construction industry.  Also going out when its quiet times, shopping early as soon as shop open or early evening between 6 and 7, or getting online delivery. Sleep and sitting quietly with calming music also helps; we definitely need to accept that we need quiet time to ourselves, so don't be afraid to look after yourself and seek quiet time. Take care

Overwhelm is a huge problem for me too. Noise and too many people too close are examples which can send my head into chaos when out and about, I can become shouty and put myself in danger, but the purely internal things are actually worse for me.

So if I have too many administrative functions to deal with, or any stress in the family, or any of the four cats a poorly I function less and less well and eventually give up trying at all. Fortunately my wife picks up the load. 

Yet its the interoperception which is the worst.  You may or may not know this word but could well experience it. It is (for example) on waking suddenly I sense all my bodily functions crying out for attention SIMULTANEOUSLY - need the loo, I need my meds, my mouth is dry, I have pain from the fibromyalgia, I cant see well, I want light but not too much, Im thirsty and hungry. The trick with all this is to sequence it with the worst or most important from a safety perspective (sight in particular) in an order which enables me get through it all. It has taken a long time of trial and error to work it out. 

So your writing things down is great, often its the best way to explain as it gives me time to work out exactly what I want to say. I generally wear the Hidden Disabilities lanyard stating I am autistic, this can be incredibly useful as shop staff are generally now trained to recognise it and in some supermarkets recognise an autistic person in distress, in one of the big ones Ive been taken by a member of staff away from the queue to a quieter and queue less area to process my trolley.

And of late Im increasingly aware that trying harder to sleep more is really helping. So for example, last night I woke about 5:30 and by the time Id dealt with the interoperception I described above it was gone 6. Usually Id get up at that point but in recent weeks Ive been trying to go back to bed and sleep more. Obviously the extra sleep is good in itself, but I think too it gives my meds chance to work in peace rather than while busying myself with chores or my special interests. 

Good luck and I hope some of my reply is helpful 

xxx

Hi Els, 

I am sorry you are finding things overwhelming. I have had a search through our advice and guidance section and wondered if any of the following may help. 

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/going-out-leisure-and-travel/going-on-holiday-tips-for-autistic-people-and-families#Plan%20for%20sensory%20needs

This section os about going on holiday but there is a useful section on planning for sensory needs and asking for help.

Some interesting insights on this page about sensory needs and processing. 

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/about-autism/sensory-processing

I hope something there helps.

Wish best wishes, 

Anna Mod

Hi, I struggle with feeling overwhelmed too and I find that complete silence is what I need. Any noise jars me. However, there are times when listening to a favourite song (usually repeatedly!) helps me. Also, word puzzles get me focused instead of thinking too much and feeling anxious. Those usually work for me