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Making friends/loneliness

tetra

Hi Wave  I'm a bit new so please be patient with me:)

Something I've struggled with my whole life is making friends and finding likeminded people. Lately I've felt so much more isolated than usual and I feel a bit hopeless.

I'm 26 but every time I try and make friends or socialize with people, I feel like I'm that weird, lonely 13 year old again who doesn't have a place anywhere, and although it feels embarrassing to even say, I'm really, really lonely. Everyone around me seems to have friends and I just don't get it. 

It's so hard to make friends as an adult. How do you even do it? Where do you even go? Does anyone else find this really difficult? 

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community! Wave

    Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for us to feel lonely or isolated.

    Alongside enjoying chatting with others here (where friendships can also develop naturally over time), you might find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

    NAS - Loneliness - includes links to other examples of autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    if you're in the UK, you might like to consider asking your GP for a referral to your local social prescriber. Or just ask the GP’s admin team, who might be able to tell you how to self refer. A social prescriber’s (non-medical) role is to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your social, practical, and emotional needs.

    That could include helping you to find local groups or socialising activities that fit with your interests, for example.

    The article below explains more (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local or online NAS branch:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    NAS - Branches

    As a final couple of suggestions, you could:

    • Search on Facebook and/or Google for any local groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.
    • Perhaps find some online games you enjoy that also include a social element (eg perhaps they have an associated chat group, or a built-in ways to socialise - like chatting in the game itself).
Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community! Wave

    Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for us to feel lonely or isolated.

    Alongside enjoying chatting with others here (where friendships can also develop naturally over time), you might find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

    NAS - Loneliness - includes links to other examples of autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    if you're in the UK, you might like to consider asking your GP for a referral to your local social prescriber. Or just ask the GP’s admin team, who might be able to tell you how to self refer. A social prescriber’s (non-medical) role is to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your social, practical, and emotional needs.

    That could include helping you to find local groups or socialising activities that fit with your interests, for example.

    The article below explains more (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local or online NAS branch:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    NAS - Branches

    As a final couple of suggestions, you could:

    • Search on Facebook and/or Google for any local groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.
    • Perhaps find some online games you enjoy that also include a social element (eg perhaps they have an associated chat group, or a built-in ways to socialise - like chatting in the game itself).
Children