Just to set it out, trigger warning: politics, abuse, bigotry.
I'm not sure how much of this I can include because of community rules.
A week ago I was at a gathering and it was seeming like it was going to be a good day. It started to go wrong pretty quickly.
There was mention of a protest happening near me which was anti-fascist and it was commented on as being "Why do people even bother with them?"
I hear another really dumb comment responding to that saying they can't be because of the class issues? Which is such an odd thing to say?
Then pride month was mentioned, I want to keep my status private here but I am fully aware of why it's celebrated. It was being discussed and they said "What's the point in celebrating pride, why don't we have a straight one?" I know the answer. However I can't communicate well under pressure. But it hurt knowing that.I also haven't come out to everyone about status there.
Another thing that really bothered me that has turned into politics sadly is the mentions of anti-immigration. For some reason there are a few people in my family that believe in this, and it's heart breaking to hear because there is such blatant misinformation and rage baiting out there, some believe it more than others, where immigration can be accepted. But the other believes lynching is a viable solution...
Then there was a horrible topic bought up later involving a horrific abuse case which for some reason made a point about sexuality. I got sent into PTSD hearing that as I've been negatively affected by trauma related to it in childhood.
After that I just completely shut down. I can't see these people the same way again, I feel like I've been betrayed, and feel the whole country is plummeting to darkness. I never had such a strong urge to end my life immediately. It's too much to handle. I don't know what to do here. This country is so ***. It's beyond the point of repair, I don't want to be here anymore.
