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Struggling To Confront Family On Topics

Jakey

Just to set it out, trigger warning: politics, abuse, bigotry. 

I'm not sure how much of this I can include because of community rules.

A week ago I was at a gathering and it was seeming like it was going to be a good day. It started to go wrong pretty quickly. 

There was mention of a protest happening near me which was anti-fascist and it was commented on as being "Why do people even bother with them?" 

I hear another really dumb comment responding to that saying they can't be because of the class issues? Which is such an odd thing to say?

Then pride month was mentioned, I want to keep my status private here but I am fully aware of why it's celebrated. It was being discussed and they said "What's the point in celebrating pride, why don't we have a straight one?" I know the answer. However I can't communicate well under pressure. But it hurt knowing that.I also haven't come out to everyone about status there.

Another thing that really bothered me that has turned into politics sadly is the mentions of anti-immigration. For some reason there are a few people in my family that believe in this, and it's heart breaking to hear because there is such blatant misinformation and rage baiting out there, some believe it more than others, where immigration can be accepted. But the other believes lynching is a viable solution...

Then there was a horrible topic bought up later involving a horrific abuse case which for some reason made a point about sexuality. I got sent into PTSD hearing that as I've been negatively affected by trauma related to it in childhood. 

After that I just completely shut down. I can't see these people the same way again, I feel like I've been betrayed, and feel the whole country is plummeting to darkness. I never had such a strong urge to end my life immediately. It's too much to handle. I don't know what to do here. This country is so ***. It's beyond the point of repair, I don't want to be here anymore. 

Parents

  • Speaking as soeoe who's been involved in political protests and am unashamedly woke, I think you just have to ignore those people, like the ones you describe, they're never going to get it and the only way you'll open thier minds is with an axe. It's horrible and upsetting, but I think you have to save your energy for fights you have a chance of winning, sometimes you might win in unexpected ways and then old problems rear up again.

    I understand how thoughtless comments can send you into a shocking spiral of flashbacks, hypervigilance and generally feeling unsafe. I think the worst thing about so many of the people who make these sort of thoughtless remarks would be horrified that you felt the way you do and would want to help you. They seem to lack the ability to connect to people and groups they don't know, but are massively compassionate and helpful to those they do know, it's like the sort of people who want immigrants out, but will campaign to stop a specific person from being deported, its a disconnect in their heads.

    There's a lot of bad stuff in the country and around the world, but theres good stuff too, hold onto the good stuff and remember you're not the one with the limited brain, they are! 

Reply

  • Speaking as soeoe who's been involved in political protests and am unashamedly woke, I think you just have to ignore those people, like the ones you describe, they're never going to get it and the only way you'll open thier minds is with an axe. It's horrible and upsetting, but I think you have to save your energy for fights you have a chance of winning, sometimes you might win in unexpected ways and then old problems rear up again.

    I understand how thoughtless comments can send you into a shocking spiral of flashbacks, hypervigilance and generally feeling unsafe. I think the worst thing about so many of the people who make these sort of thoughtless remarks would be horrified that you felt the way you do and would want to help you. They seem to lack the ability to connect to people and groups they don't know, but are massively compassionate and helpful to those they do know, it's like the sort of people who want immigrants out, but will campaign to stop a specific person from being deported, its a disconnect in their heads.

    There's a lot of bad stuff in the country and around the world, but theres good stuff too, hold onto the good stuff and remember you're not the one with the limited brain, they are! 

Children