Social Communication

Where do people personally feel they sit on a line of understanding social communication (not what they are supposed to be like according to science) 

  1. I can’t figure out what people expect of me and often end up lost or staying quiet.
  2. I get social communication wrong more often than I get it right.
  3. I get some things wrong, but I get a lot right too.
  4. I think I understand social communication as well as, or better than, most people

It would be interesting, even if none of these fit your description, to discuss as a starting point. This is very much an ad hoc topic.

What I’m interested in is how autistic people actually experience their own social understanding.

Many discussions start from the assumption that autistic people have social deficits, but lived experience is often much more nuanced than that. Some people may feel completely lost in social situations, some may feel they understand people well but communicate differently, and others may feel they have developed strengths in areas such as pattern recognition, honesty, empathy, or reading behaviour.

I’m interested in where people feel they sit personally, how they arrived there, and whether their experience matches or differs from what they have been told to expect about autism.

There are no right or wrong answers. The options are simply a starting point for exploration and discussion.

Parents
  • A lie is to say or do something that leads an audience to believe what you know is not true. Autistic people like myself have a lot of things on their minds, and if you consider how much stress it implies to lie, that is probably one reason why we have an image of being loyal and do not shell out social capacity like candy. What's your opinion on that? It feels right, but maybe I am totally wrong.

  • I pretty much can’t lie…. But it’s also very difficult when you try to connect with people and understand them and they would rather have a lie - or they don’t like the truth woman shrugging: light skin tone. I think I absolutely agree with you on the shelling out of social capacity and understand what you mean. I enjoy people I can be quiet with 

  • I can lie very well if I put my mind to it and can be utterly convincing, but it's something I choose not to do, although I'm often accused of lying, but people who don't like what I say, usually because I'm speaking the truth to people who believe they hold power. The only time I conciously lie is a white lie, like 'no they didn't have any of those slippers you like left', when in fact I've bought them and hidden them as a present.

    Its always struck me as odd that the most truthful people seem to be accused of lying more often that those who are strangers to the truth and gas light everyone around them. Maybe thats the biggest gaslighting they do, convincing others that they're truthful and the person calling them out is the liar?

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