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Social Communication

SunshineDrive

Where do people personally feel they sit on a line of understanding social communication (not what they are supposed to be like according to science) 

  1. I can’t figure out what people expect of me and often end up lost or staying quiet.
  2. I get social communication wrong more often than I get it right.
  3. I get some things wrong, but I get a lot right too.
  4. I think I understand social communication as well as, or better than, most people

It would be interesting, even if none of these fit your description, to discuss as a starting point. This is very much an ad hoc topic.

What I’m interested in is how autistic people actually experience their own social understanding.

Many discussions start from the assumption that autistic people have social deficits, but lived experience is often much more nuanced than that. Some people may feel completely lost in social situations, some may feel they understand people well but communicate differently, and others may feel they have developed strengths in areas such as pattern recognition, honesty, empathy, or reading behaviour.

I’m interested in where people feel they sit personally, how they arrived there, and whether their experience matches or differs from what they have been told to expect about autism.

There are no right or wrong answers. The options are simply a starting point for exploration and discussion.

Parents

  • A lie is to say or do something that leads an audience to believe what you know is not true. Autistic people like myself have a lot of things on their minds, and if you consider how much stress it implies to lie, that is probably one reason why we have an image of being loyal and do not shell out social capacity like candy. What's your opinion on that? It feels right, but maybe I am totally wrong.

  • in reply to albu

    I pretty much can’t lie…. But it’s also very difficult when you try to connect with people and understand them and they would rather have a lie - or they don’t like the truth woman shrugging: light skin tone. I think I absolutely agree with you on the shelling out of social capacity and understand what you mean. I enjoy people I can be quiet with 

  • in reply to SunshineDrive

    I feel the same, I cannot lie. It stresses me out. There was a story I learnt in primary school, it was read to us by our teacher back then, I was just six years old. It was about a child made of glass, and everyone could see what was going on inside of it. When it lied, a little black ball was bopping up and down inside of it. That stayed with me. What you write is the nicest thing I have read on this topic in ....I think for as long as I can remember. How can you even understand you do not lie and that others do when it is so alien to you? I had occasions where I was accused of lying, and that were among the cruelest in my life because it were people I loved and because there is no way you can prove you haven't. You can't escape this feeling of having hurt someone when you have not, you want it to stop and it doesn't.

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  • in reply to SunshineDrive

    I feel the same, I cannot lie. It stresses me out. There was a story I learnt in primary school, it was read to us by our teacher back then, I was just six years old. It was about a child made of glass, and everyone could see what was going on inside of it. When it lied, a little black ball was bopping up and down inside of it. That stayed with me. What you write is the nicest thing I have read on this topic in ....I think for as long as I can remember. How can you even understand you do not lie and that others do when it is so alien to you? I had occasions where I was accused of lying, and that were among the cruelest in my life because it were people I loved and because there is no way you can prove you haven't. You can't escape this feeling of having hurt someone when you have not, you want it to stop and it doesn't.

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