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Social Communication

SunshineDrive

Where do people personally feel they sit on a line of understanding social communication (not what they are supposed to be like according to science) 

  1. I can’t figure out what people expect of me and often end up lost or staying quiet.
  2. I get social communication wrong more often than I get it right.
  3. I get some things wrong, but I get a lot right too.
  4. I think I understand social communication as well as, or better than, most people

It would be interesting, even if none of these fit your description, to discuss as a starting point. This is very much an ad hoc topic.

What I’m interested in is how autistic people actually experience their own social understanding.

Many discussions start from the assumption that autistic people have social deficits, but lived experience is often much more nuanced than that. Some people may feel completely lost in social situations, some may feel they understand people well but communicate differently, and others may feel they have developed strengths in areas such as pattern recognition, honesty, empathy, or reading behaviour.

I’m interested in where people feel they sit personally, how they arrived there, and whether their experience matches or differs from what they have been told to expect about autism.

There are no right or wrong answers. The options are simply a starting point for exploration and discussion.

Parents

  • All four apply at the same time. I just choose to not engage with people. They are imprecise, in their choice of words, their insecurities and projections.....it's like it feels to me like I read their minds, but if I call them out on the ambiguities they show, they feel caught, they flat out deny it though it is even supported in surrounding circumstances they created through a consistent track record on the matter at hand, or they feel ashamed. Most things people talk about that are beside solving a concrete problem, like driving a nail into a wall, are obvious as far as cause and effect are concerned and to me seems most of the time a choice or matter of self-deceit. So why do they ask or share it with me? Do they want approval, my blessing? That someone is genuinely open minded and really wants to know what I think is rare. Those that do get an answer, and they solve the problem they have. And then there are those that just want me to listen, not answer at all, which I can and do. That is probably in summary why social conduct in terms of conversation and protocol feels to me like a waste of my time.

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  • All four apply at the same time. I just choose to not engage with people. They are imprecise, in their choice of words, their insecurities and projections.....it's like it feels to me like I read their minds, but if I call them out on the ambiguities they show, they feel caught, they flat out deny it though it is even supported in surrounding circumstances they created through a consistent track record on the matter at hand, or they feel ashamed. Most things people talk about that are beside solving a concrete problem, like driving a nail into a wall, are obvious as far as cause and effect are concerned and to me seems most of the time a choice or matter of self-deceit. So why do they ask or share it with me? Do they want approval, my blessing? That someone is genuinely open minded and really wants to know what I think is rare. Those that do get an answer, and they solve the problem they have. And then there are those that just want me to listen, not answer at all, which I can and do. That is probably in summary why social conduct in terms of conversation and protocol feels to me like a waste of my time.

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