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Anyone else not wanting to socialise?

forget_me_not48

Hi, fairly new to the forum and just diagnosed as a 48 year old female.

Im pondering the contentious world of socialising. I woke up this morning fantasizing about a world where I dont ever have to socialize with family, the in laws. I have managed to secure a world for myself where I have two friends with no social demands. Anyway my partner has family who have regular meet ups. It’s all small talk and gossip, and a barrage of words lots of words and noise and body language. I’m expected to attend and I’m becoming angry about it, because the MIL is becoming offended and notices/comments when I don’t. It’s a pressure that’s made me resentful. When I imagine a world where I don’t have to conform, where I could be totally alone and be free of others expectations, it makes me happy, exhilarated and excited. A world I can just be myself and live in peace and happiness with my routines and my books.

Im wondering if anyone else feels this way and how have you managed to navigate social demands/explaining to people your diagnosis? My problem is that people have known me for 48 years without autism, so it’s going to be an uphill battle communicating my needs and not being understood :( I don’t know where to start. If I could just remove people, I feel life would be happier and I’d be very contented and peaceful Shrug tone2‍female sign️

Im also angry because I don’t expect people to spend 10 hours straight researching interests or sitting in a dark quiet room not speaking for days on end so why are we expected to fit in? What is the middle ground here and how can we make life work?

Parents

  • Hi there!  It's certainly understandable to have difficulties fitting in with the world of socialising and small talk, and many autistic people struggle with this, especially after a late diagnosis.  I can see our community members have already chimed in with their own experiences!

    Since you mentioned how to navigate talking about your diagnosis to others, you might like to have a look at the NAS guidance pages on talking about and disclosing your diagnosis.  The page also contains links to other autistic adults' experiences of talking about their diagnosis, so I hope you find it helpful, and best wishes going forward!  Feel free to let us know how you get on if you decide to talk with your family about your diagnosis.

Reply

  • Hi there!  It's certainly understandable to have difficulties fitting in with the world of socialising and small talk, and many autistic people struggle with this, especially after a late diagnosis.  I can see our community members have already chimed in with their own experiences!

    Since you mentioned how to navigate talking about your diagnosis to others, you might like to have a look at the NAS guidance pages on talking about and disclosing your diagnosis.  The page also contains links to other autistic adults' experiences of talking about their diagnosis, so I hope you find it helpful, and best wishes going forward!  Feel free to let us know how you get on if you decide to talk with your family about your diagnosis.

Children
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