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Anyone else not wanting to socialise?

forget_me_not48

Hi, fairly new to the forum and just diagnosed as a 48 year old female.

Im pondering the contentious world of socialising. I woke up this morning fantasizing about a world where I dont ever have to socialize with family, the in laws. I have managed to secure a world for myself where I have two friends with no social demands. Anyway my partner has family who have regular meet ups. It’s all small talk and gossip, and a barrage of words lots of words and noise and body language. I’m expected to attend and I’m becoming angry about it, because the MIL is becoming offended and notices/comments when I don’t. It’s a pressure that’s made me resentful. When I imagine a world where I don’t have to conform, where I could be totally alone and be free of others expectations, it makes me happy, exhilarated and excited. A world I can just be myself and live in peace and happiness with my routines and my books.

Im wondering if anyone else feels this way and how have you managed to navigate social demands/explaining to people your diagnosis? My problem is that people have known me for 48 years without autism, so it’s going to be an uphill battle communicating my needs and not being understood :( I don’t know where to start. If I could just remove people, I feel life would be happier and I’d be very contented and peaceful Shrug tone2‍female sign️

Im also angry because I don’t expect people to spend 10 hours straight researching interests or sitting in a dark quiet room not speaking for days on end so why are we expected to fit in? What is the middle ground here and how can we make life work?

Parents

  • My family knows me for years for being the weirdo who vanishes during events, so they are not surprised. I happily don't celebrate any birthdays or Christmas or Easter etc. I just text them wishes or sometimes call them. My blessing is the fact that I moved abroad so I have a perfect reason to not show up- it's too far away.

    Me and my husband come from different cultural and religious backgrounds, so we respect each other's tradition but don't force one another to take part in it. I honestly don't cultivate my tradition. Most important thing is having peace and place to escape.

    When it comes to the term "autism" - from my experience I can say, many people don't accept it or don't understand and have their own stereotypes. I always try to concentrate on specific need rather than autism. For example- I have slower processing, I need more time. I need more space, more time alone. It works much more often than I expected. So my family does not accept me autistic,  needing more space and time, but it seems that it's easier for them to accept me as a weirdo who needs more space and time and living in own inner world. 

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  • My family knows me for years for being the weirdo who vanishes during events, so they are not surprised. I happily don't celebrate any birthdays or Christmas or Easter etc. I just text them wishes or sometimes call them. My blessing is the fact that I moved abroad so I have a perfect reason to not show up- it's too far away.

    Me and my husband come from different cultural and religious backgrounds, so we respect each other's tradition but don't force one another to take part in it. I honestly don't cultivate my tradition. Most important thing is having peace and place to escape.

    When it comes to the term "autism" - from my experience I can say, many people don't accept it or don't understand and have their own stereotypes. I always try to concentrate on specific need rather than autism. For example- I have slower processing, I need more time. I need more space, more time alone. It works much more often than I expected. So my family does not accept me autistic,  needing more space and time, but it seems that it's easier for them to accept me as a weirdo who needs more space and time and living in own inner world. 

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