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Struggling with transitions? Difficulty ending calls with my partner

Tomos

I always have a hard time ending a call with my partner. Sometimes it is because I am having a nice time or because I am enjoying talking about something in particular. Other times I want to end the call because I need to do something or go to bed because it is late but have a hard time ending the call and almost sabotage myself by starting a new conversation or mentioning a new thing. This also happens when my partner needs to end the call and is harder for me because i dont want to end the call for the previously mentioned reasons.

I particularly struggle with actually hanging up and often request my partner hang up on me so i have no choice. I will ask him to hang up and then despite that I might think of something else that feels urgent in the moment to keep talking about but is actually inconsequential and is just an effort to keep talking. I feel stuck sometimes wanting to end a call but completely frozen to actually do it.

It isn't simply wanting to keep talking. I don't understand it fully myself.

I was thinking this could be to do with struggling with the transition of being on a call with him to it ending and having to change tasks.

Does anyone have any advice or similar feelings/experiences?

  • in reply to pinkchocoholic

    Thank you! I did talk to him about it a bit and we are going to try to talk more and maybe set some limits and have a set amount of time for certain activities while we call. Like  saying before hand that we are going to watch these two videos and then end the call because I am already feeling overwhelmed and don't want to over do it and not be able to call for days after.

    The article hits some other things I have trouble with when we call too. Especially knowing what is going to happen in detail. I hate it when we plan to call to do something like play a game or watch something because I will be ready to do that immediately. Sometimes we start calling and he says he needs to cook but he only says it when I'm already here not before.

    I have asked him to try to make sure he's finished his other tasks or let me know in advance that he needs to do something before the call starts. If he doesn't the internal plan I had gets thrown off and I feel like I'm being unreasonable for being annoyed but it upsets me a lot

  • bumping this incase someone can help 

    sounds like you're having a struggle with changing tasks 
    not sure but this might be able to help