Travelling further than local

TheCatWoman said:

trusting my own inner sense of direction.

I don't have any of this, hence sat nav. My map reading is pants!

I'd never trust a sat nav after I nearly missed my sons wedding! It direscted us to a farm yard at the other end of the county. I'm much better with maps and trusting my own inner sense of direction.

I don't know how old you are? I think ageing is one of the problems - disliking new experiences. I dislike driving more as I get older. It's being anxious when I don't know a place that puts me off. As you have children to visit, this is a good incentive to try different things which might help.

It might be expensive, but could you pay a driving instructor to go with you once or twice - part or all of the route? Or have you a friend[s] who would mate up for the journey - if there is something [s]he/they could do once they get there? Perhaps a weekend or mini break? Have you a quality sat nav? [I always take sat nav if it's not a supermarket visit]. Sat Navs are comforting if you choose the voice you like most; showing you the road 'as it is' also speed limits, so you can focus on driving. Definitely, I would plan the journey in full, including stop offs, writing this down -put this on the dashboard if you have no sat nav. Planning it in writing will make part of your regular 'routine'.

That bit is pretty intense, and there's a lot of scree protection too which is unnerving. We often get the ferry to Dublin, though sometimes go through Belfast or Roslare.

My husband likes driving so often does that section, being a passenger is unnerving too, my daughter hates the tunnels especially!

The Conwy Tunnels terrify me, the approach is a windy road with two lanes near the cliff face, it's easy to get in between two lorries, it's long fast tunnels and I hate being underground, to the point where I wish the mountain would just fall on me to get it over with, the traffic roars through the tunnels, coming back is slightly better than going, but still terrifying, theres almost more triggers than I can count just in that one half a mile stetch of road. 

Its strange how things affect us isnt it?  I learnt at 22.  Then I did my Blue Lights in 2010, which I was concerned about the driving element of the job, but found professional driving totally different.

I didn't learn to drive until I was in my mid thirties and I'd never been a road user before, never had a bicycle and none of my family drove, in fact I'm still the only one in the famiy who drives. Ihad to stop driving for a few years, not long after I passed my test as I was getting such terrible nightmares, all night every night. I had CBT and now I can drive again, but within certain limits, I'm not sure how much the CBT helped, I can drive again, but now I have social phobia and the two sort of co-incided, I started being able to drive again, but found social situations harder and harder. I an socialise at home, just not out.

I understand this. Driving is not a pleasure. Just added anxiety.

I was thinking sunday, I must agree

If you have a chance, you can try doing the first 20' of the drive a few times, maybe when it is more quiet.

That may make you feel under control, and increase confidence, also to find anything that could be missing.

Depending on location Sundays can be suitable for a quiet road, for example.

There are also websites with car checklists to do before a journey.

I wish I had better ideas but I don't drive.

I very rarely travel east of Bangor, it's so busy, the roads are horrible and drivers aggressive. THere are so many people too, most of them face down in their phones taking no notice of where they're going. I find my anxiety spirals almost out of control, it can take me some days to come down from a trip east. I just don't feel safe, the nearer to England I get the less safe I feel, and yet I'm English, it dosent' matter whether I'm coming from Scotland or Wales the nearer I get to England the more anxious I become.

Thanks. Unexpected events is always a thing. I am likely to drive, which I would prefer with someone in a way, but this will be alone. The journey is probably about 3 hours or so. I need to avoid the worry in the days/weeks before, and not back out either.

To make planning easier and less anxiety-triggering, remember to give yourself time and space to plan at your pace.

It is already brave of you to be considering to travel.

I can suggest some options that may reduce anxiety and increase confidence and control. Please ignore them if they look too hard, or useless. 

Splitting the complex problem into simpler ones

Plan your trip using a block diagram like the one below:

Those red blocks can store any text you like. The planning may be done with the help of your children or others as well.

A similar strategy is listing needs, essentials, and so forth. Essentials such as backpack, charged-phone, debit card (or some cash),  water bottle, book, headphones, toilet roll, pillow. Health-related needs such as medication, which seat to choose and so forth.

Travel buddy

You may have the chance to travel with someone else? In this case, you may still want to make decisions and then discuss them with that person.

Emergency or help numbers

Unexpected events: You may want to have an emergency number or two you can call, if something goes wrong, or just to check in as you travel.