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Needing Any Kind of Advice

posymum

Hello :)

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 8 and then again last year. It is something I hadn't accepted about myself until now, at which I am drowning. I don't know where to go for support and I don't know how to help myself. Everything is very new to me since I've tried very hard to be "normal" for a long time. Now that I am also a single mum, it has made things that much more difficult. It is so difficult to do daily tasks, like cooking or cleaning. I do everything for my son and then I just sit there. I am so overwhelmed with everything from the sudden sharp sounds that make me intensely angry to something simple like remembering my birthdate.

I am trying to hold it together. I am trying to finish university. I have been trying to finish university for 10 years. Things that take people 20 minutes takes me 3 hours. And interacting with people is exhausting that I really want to stay in the house, but I cannot because of my son. I have worked so hard to learn how to fix my face and when to laugh and what questions to ask and how to respond to things. I have done too well with masking that no one believes me or will help me and I don't know how to turn it off and at the same time, I am so exhausted and I want to stop. I have been copying other people for so long that I don't even know who I am. On top of this, I don't know how I'm going to support my son because I cannot keep a job or find one in the first place. I am so, so tired. Everything feels impossible and I am on the verge of screaming and crying every single day. I feel like I am going to explode..

Parents

  • I am glad that you have had more time to do your degree that you need. Some people though myself included wouldn't be able to tackle the next thing in life until it was completed and I would find it stressful. It would just be hanging over me. This can be an autistic trait-I don't know how it applies to you. Some things in your post made me think of ADHD as well because some people with ADHD can struggle to complete tasks. I would have thought if that would have been an issue they would mentioned it at your diagnosis. 

    I have known parents who didn't work and just raised children and felt fulfilled. They had their interests going on in their life as well. May be you are underestimating what you are doing.

    As for cooking may be you can try and make the meals easier for yourself-perhaps some high quality ready meals or easy meals in the week and more cooked meals on the weekend. Try not to think about the housework too much, it can be stressful but sometimes I have to override what I feel and just proceed at times, I succeed at that sometimes, but sometimes I will delay it until I feel a bit brighter.

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  • I am glad that you have had more time to do your degree that you need. Some people though myself included wouldn't be able to tackle the next thing in life until it was completed and I would find it stressful. It would just be hanging over me. This can be an autistic trait-I don't know how it applies to you. Some things in your post made me think of ADHD as well because some people with ADHD can struggle to complete tasks. I would have thought if that would have been an issue they would mentioned it at your diagnosis. 

    I have known parents who didn't work and just raised children and felt fulfilled. They had their interests going on in their life as well. May be you are underestimating what you are doing.

    As for cooking may be you can try and make the meals easier for yourself-perhaps some high quality ready meals or easy meals in the week and more cooked meals on the weekend. Try not to think about the housework too much, it can be stressful but sometimes I have to override what I feel and just proceed at times, I succeed at that sometimes, but sometimes I will delay it until I feel a bit brighter.

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