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29 F - Struggling with recent autism diagnosis and imposter syndrome

Hanz

This has been the hardest thing I've ever been through. I feel like I've gone through every emotion imaginable! 

I have very little motivation, especially to do any basic needs like cooking, etc. I'm also not excited by or enjoying any of my hobbies at the moment, like I want to play games or start LEGO or do a puzzle, but I feel so exhausted, and the feeling that I have nothing left to give, and the thought of starting these things feels impossible!

I get a full night's sleep, and I wake up feeling like I've never slept a day in my life. Getting through a day of work is incredibly hard. I'm pushing myself and masking myself to appear "normal" when I'm actually wanting to just curl up into a ball and hibernate!! 

All I want is to feel better, and I've been told the way to do that is to rest and recover, but this feels too alien to me. I feel like I should be physically doing something to be able to get better. I also feel like I've been resting for ages now and being kind to myself, but I don't feel like I've made much progress at all. I've had enough of this feeling and just don't know where to go next.

Any advice would be most appreciated? 

Parents

  • Sorry to hear you're going through this tough stage. I think in some ways The Matrix had a right - never free a mind above a certain age as the shock is too great. You've lived over 20 years thinking one reality was real, now you've learned that is not the case.

    That is not good or bad, but it will be jarring, and it is okay to struggle with it and grieve your old reality changing.

    Best advice is keep looking for spaces like this - look for comfort in knowing others have gone through it and come out the other side knowing themselves better and being more aligned.

    Best of luck!!

Reply

  • Sorry to hear you're going through this tough stage. I think in some ways The Matrix had a right - never free a mind above a certain age as the shock is too great. You've lived over 20 years thinking one reality was real, now you've learned that is not the case.

    That is not good or bad, but it will be jarring, and it is okay to struggle with it and grieve your old reality changing.

    Best advice is keep looking for spaces like this - look for comfort in knowing others have gone through it and come out the other side knowing themselves better and being more aligned.

    Best of luck!!

Children
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