Finding it hard to Grieve

Has anyone else felt like this?

Today is the 4th anniversary of my mums passing and for a long time I have been in complete denial.

I am currently is the middle stages of receiving an ASD diagnosis, first assessment being 3 weeks ago and the last in another 2 weeks.

Because if's such an important day, I feel like I am masking how I should be feeling.  I have not been formally diagnosed autistic yet, and I am finding it difficult to process my mum's anniversary, coupled with the fact I feel I have impostor syndrome, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I am completely normal and being selfish and silly.

Bit of a random post but thanks for taking a look. 

Parents
  • Hi McG. 

    First of all, I am truly sorry for your loss. It's such a shocking event that no one can ever funky prepare for. I hope you have a great support network around you. We are all here for you anyway. 

    As Martin said, there's really no prescribed or scripted way to feel. It sounds like your mum meant a lot to you, and that certainly takes a long time to process. 

    We lost my mother in law this week, and a woman helping us to preserve flowers in her garden said time can help heal all wounds. I hope that provides some comfort. 

    Do direct message me if you like. We're all here for you. You are not sily I promise you. 

  • Thankyou for your reply, it means a lot.  Yea, mum meant so much as have all those I have lost prior, being my brother and after my brother, a dear friend.  Im just struggling in the midst of my 2nd ASD assessment and the waiting that occurs.  I so want to be told that yes you are different, everything is ok and what has happened in the past is not your fault.

    Thanks again.

  • I am deeply sorry about your friend and brother too. Allow the freedom and space to grieve however you need. 

    Whatever happens with your ASD assesment, you are you. Everything about you makes you special and unique, with all your gifts. The assesment can certainly bring certainty, but there is nothing wrong with you I promise. And what ever happened is not your fault. 

  • Thanks again for the advice, its very much appreciated.

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