Finding it hard to Grieve

Has anyone else felt like this?

Today is the 4th anniversary of my mums passing and for a long time I have been in complete denial.

I am currently is the middle stages of receiving an ASD diagnosis, first assessment being 3 weeks ago and the last in another 2 weeks.

Because if's such an important day, I feel like I am masking how I should be feeling.  I have not been formally diagnosed autistic yet, and I am finding it difficult to process my mum's anniversary, coupled with the fact I feel I have impostor syndrome, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I am completely normal and being selfish and silly.

Bit of a random post but thanks for taking a look. 

Parents
  • Grieving is entirely individual, there is no prescribed way to grieve. I wept buckets when my mum was dying in hospital. At her funeral I was completely composed, it felt like it had nothing to do with either my mum, who had already gone, or my relationship with her. It was just a public ritual that had to be enacted.

    People do not go through the long drawn out (NHS), or expensive (private), process of getting an autism diagnosis on a whim. If you feel that an autism diagnosis is necessary for you then it almost certainly is. Try not comparing yourself to other autistic people, they will have different traits and problems than you have. If you need comparisons look at the autism criteria in the diagnostic manuals.

  • Thank you for the advice, it has been a long drawn out process and because I am at the last hurdle, I worry I am going to fall. Telling myself its just coincidence I suppose that my mum's anniversary is happening around this time of assessment.

Reply Children
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