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Finding it hard to Grieve

McG

Has anyone else felt like this?

Today is the 4th anniversary of my mums passing and for a long time I have been in complete denial.

I am currently is the middle stages of receiving an ASD diagnosis, first assessment being 3 weeks ago and the last in another 2 weeks.

Because if's such an important day, I feel like I am masking how I should be feeling.  I have not been formally diagnosed autistic yet, and I am finding it difficult to process my mum's anniversary, coupled with the fact I feel I have impostor syndrome, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I am completely normal and being selfish and silly.

Bit of a random post but thanks for taking a look. 

Parents

  • Good morning from America, McG!

    Mourning is a complicated thing, and the strangest thing about it is that it manifests differently for different people. Like I remember going to a funeral for my brother where I was completely shut down and went through the whole thing like a zombie. Meanwhile his grandma was a terror. She mourned by lashing out at everyone about everything, blaming family members for her not getting the right seat and essentially blaming the town for my brother’s death (which was ridiculous). But hey, was I mourning any better? No, it was just different.

    It’s okay if you feel like you’re not grieving “properly.” It might just be your unique way of dealing with it.

    I really hate the show, but Gilmore Girls has a great concept they call “Luke’s Dark Day,” in which a main character mourns his dad’s death anniversary by disconnecting with the world and going fishing. It’s his unique way of grieving for someone that was very important to him.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Thanks for that, I am currently listening to the band Queen whom my mum loved and it's given me a wry smile which is nice. Suppose this is my way of remembering. Thankyou

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