Bad anxiety today

NAS18906 said:

I've had depression too but have held back from going to doctors about it. My understanding is that ASD people often suffer from exogenous depression brought on by the conflict in our lives that results from our poor communication ability. In my mind this is different, and requires different treatment to endogenous or organic depression. See 

psychcentral.com/.../00019

for the distinction. Has anyone discussed that difference with you and do you think I am on the right track with labelling your or my depression with the exogenous term?

I appreciate what you're saying and I'm sure that my difficulties caused by my autism contribute to my unhappiness however I believe that a large percentage of my depression is organic. It took a while for people to understand that my depression had little to do with how loved, popular, thin or understood I was. I can be depressed on Christmas Day when I'm surrounded by people who love me whilst being spoilt rotten. I can lie in bed staring at the ceiling wishing I'd never been born. Yes my ASC is a great source of pain and often a source of shame, but I have depression the illness, not depression the emotion. It hurts me a lot when people tell me that I hurt because I'm sad about my sad life. I have fatigue and physical symptoms. I have been known to suffer from some quite delusional thinking associated with my moods. My ASC has stopped me getting help in the past, and I resent being constantly shut in this beastly, "Oh, this is because you're on the spectrum" box. People are too complex for one label. I certainly am. The only thing that has ever brought me any relief from my low, suicidal moods are antidepressants. There's a history of organic depression and anxiety in my family. So I'm not sure what other evidence I need. I do totally take your point though, and I'm sorry if this reply sounds ranty. I'm just going through a really horrible time with mental health in general at the moment, not Asperger's related issues. I often find myself hating my diagnosis and blaming it for far too many things. I know that people on the spectrum and those who specialise in them will always find ways of justifying my feelings to me, but the fact is, nobody has to suffer. Why should I have to suffer from intense low mood because I'm autistic, yet somebody who is neurotypical gets medication and treatment? It doesn't seem fair. Please don't fall into the "I'm autistic, therefore I must be depressed" trap. If you are suffering from symptoms of depression, whatever you think the cause to be, then it's good to see a doctor.

NAS18906 said:

I've had depression too but have held back from going to doctors about it. My understanding is that ASD people often suffer from exogenous depression brought on by the conflict in our lives that results from our poor communication ability. In my mind this is different, and requires different treatment to endogenous or organic depression. See 

psychcentral.com/.../00019

for the distinction. Has anyone discussed that difference with you and do you think I am on the right track with labelling your or my depression with the exogenous term?

I appreciate what you're saying and I'm sure that my difficulties caused by my autism contribute to my unhappiness however I believe that a large percentage of my depression is organic. It took a while for people to understand that my depression had little to do with how loved, popular, thin or understood I was. I can be depressed on Christmas Day when I'm surrounded by people who love me whilst being spoilt rotten. I can lie in bed staring at the ceiling wishing I'd never been born. Yes my ASC is a great source of pain and often a source of shame, but I have depression the illness, not depression the emotion. It hurts me a lot when people tell me that I hurt because I'm sad about my sad life. I have fatigue and physical symptoms. I have been known to suffer from some quite delusional thinking associated with my moods. My ASC has stopped me getting help in the past, and I resent being constantly shut in this beastly, "Oh, this is because you're on the spectrum" box. People are too complex for one label. I certainly am. The only thing that has ever brought me any relief from my low, suicidal moods are antidepressants. There's a history of organic depression and anxiety in my family. So I'm not sure what other evidence I need. I do totally take your point though, and I'm sorry if this reply sounds ranty. I'm just going through a really horrible time with mental health in general at the moment, not Asperger's related issues. I often find myself hating my diagnosis and blaming it for far too many things. I know that people on the spectrum and those who specialise in them will always find ways of justifying my feelings to me, but the fact is, nobody has to suffer. Why should I have to suffer from intense low mood because I'm autistic, yet somebody who is neurotypical gets medication and treatment? It doesn't seem fair. Please don't fall into the "I'm autistic, therefore I must be depressed" trap. If you are suffering from symptoms of depression, whatever you think the cause to be, then it's good to see a doctor.