I feel like the world is ending

I'm really struggling at the moment. Going through another lot of autistic burnout. It's negatively impacting my mood and leading me to suicidal thoughts and depression.

My home situation isn't being addressed by the people responsible for it despite asking multiple times. I've been ignored, every, single, [removed by mod], time. The NHS won't provide funding for better equipment and comfort for my situation, one involving gastrointestinal issues. And my sensory issues are treated like a joke. Almost as though they think I'm faking it. I almost had ear drums popped earlier from car tyres that make that really consistent bumping sound. On top of that the current political situations really bother me where it feels like anyone I know that doesn't support the right party is going to kill me. [removed by mod]

I feel like a worthless human being with nothing good to show for myself. Waste of space and talentless. I can't find comfort anyway. It's hard to stay happy. My life is just being ruined. I wouldn't need to ask for help if my local council could help me find/build a small house for me to live in on my own, and Universal Credit/Disability needs to pay me more to address the problems the NHS won't so I can better meet my needs. I feel a lot of despair and grief. 

Parents
  • Hi Jakey


    Whilst I do not share all your problems I do fully understand how the news makes you feel. It was like the politics of misery and despair sought me out everywhere. In the end I appreciated that the negatives of being aware of what was happening far outweighed the benefits. So I left all social media, cancelled my subscription to a broadsheet (online actually) newspaper and arranged at home for my wife to just let me know news items (she still reads news) that is good and encouraging, or terminal (like the nukes are on their way).

    She hardly ever has to let me know anything and my mental health is definitely much better for it. A big part of the problem is my utter powerlessness in the face of issues over which I have zero control, in order to thrive I definitely need agency, control and influence, I think this is true for most people, but autism and suicidality clearly tell me that if I cannot influence an issue the best thing to do it is to ghost it. 

    Alice

Reply
  • Hi Jakey


    Whilst I do not share all your problems I do fully understand how the news makes you feel. It was like the politics of misery and despair sought me out everywhere. In the end I appreciated that the negatives of being aware of what was happening far outweighed the benefits. So I left all social media, cancelled my subscription to a broadsheet (online actually) newspaper and arranged at home for my wife to just let me know news items (she still reads news) that is good and encouraging, or terminal (like the nukes are on their way).

    She hardly ever has to let me know anything and my mental health is definitely much better for it. A big part of the problem is my utter powerlessness in the face of issues over which I have zero control, in order to thrive I definitely need agency, control and influence, I think this is true for most people, but autism and suicidality clearly tell me that if I cannot influence an issue the best thing to do it is to ghost it. 

    Alice

Children
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