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I feel like the world is ending

Jakey

I'm really struggling at the moment. Going through another lot of autistic burnout. It's negatively impacting my mood and leading me to suicidal thoughts and depression.

My home situation isn't being addressed by the people responsible for it despite asking multiple times. I've been ignored, every, single, [removed by mod], time. The NHS won't provide funding for better equipment and comfort for my situation, one involving gastrointestinal issues. And my sensory issues are treated like a joke. Almost as though they think I'm faking it. I almost had ear drums popped earlier from car tyres that make that really consistent bumping sound. On top of that the current political situations really bother me where it feels like anyone I know that doesn't support the right party is going to kill me. [removed by mod]

I feel like a worthless human being with nothing good to show for myself. Waste of space and talentless. I can't find comfort anyway. It's hard to stay happy. My life is just being ruined. I wouldn't need to ask for help if my local council could help me find/build a small house for me to live in on my own, and Universal Credit/Disability needs to pay me more to address the problems the NHS won't so I can better meet my needs. I feel a lot of despair and grief. 

Parents

  • Life can be really trying and mine currently is really pushing me into a fairly dark place. It often feels that aspects of the health service either don't work or just don't communicate clearly or even at all.

    I was on the Mind side by side website and I made a comment in their community bit about how I feel. I said that I no longer feel like a camel waiting for that random bit of straw, I now feel like a dinosaur in the late Cretaceous period seeing an ever growing light in the sky and knowing exactly what is about to happen. The mods messaged me see if I was planning to end it all, I suppose that's a comfort in a way.

    If I ever getting to that point I know I have to reach out, just venting can be enough, it's like screaming into the void. If that fails I find someone to talk to. 

    Take care.

  • in reply to Hergé

    It is good to reach out and talk about it on here isn’t it? I find that too. Just knowing that other people are feeling the same way too, or have felt like it, really helps I find. I’m so grateful to people who have the courage to share these things on here - it really helps all of us. We’re not as alone as we often feel we are - I think autistic people often feel very alone because so many of us have difficulties forming social relationships etc. I think that when we’re feeling overwhelmed or suicidal it’s especially important to reach out. 

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  • in reply to Hergé

    It is good to reach out and talk about it on here isn’t it? I find that too. Just knowing that other people are feeling the same way too, or have felt like it, really helps I find. I’m so grateful to people who have the courage to share these things on here - it really helps all of us. We’re not as alone as we often feel we are - I think autistic people often feel very alone because so many of us have difficulties forming social relationships etc. I think that when we’re feeling overwhelmed or suicidal it’s especially important to reach out. 

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