Hello all. I hope this is ok to post, I’m 47, female and at a point that I’m really trying to figure myself out properly. I’ve been looking into neurodivergence but have been put off my family members discounting it as “fashionable”. I’ve typed a (very long!) list of traits and wondered what you think? Does any of this resonate? Any advice would be appreciated.
- Hyper focus on one thing and can’t rest until achieved, impatience, like an itch
- Procrastination on big tasks
- Very difficult to relax, brain on fire / fizzing
- Research everything in huge detail
- Detail focussed to the point of obsessive
- Always tired. Have always fallen asleep in the afternoon since very young age, often on floor
- High achiever at school
- Often found myself sitting alone at school
- Failed at uni, hated my time there, struggled to fit in, or to focus. Very few friends and even they didn’t become close
- Tricky to make friends, very selective, hard work, tough at school/uni/work
- Always called aloof or resting *** face
- Cannot cope with fiction/imagination/visualisation
- Never been a bridesmaid
- Hide in bed, always have done, always exhausted, since very young/ afternoon naps
- Untrusting of what people say to me, looking for nuance on what lies behind
- Told that I “have to learn to take a joke”
- “Lacks focus and direction”
- Anxiety and depression diagnosed 2000 but was it really that?!
- Addiction / teetotal since 2016
- Dopamine seeking, impulse buys, snacking, scrolling
- Feeling lost, haven’t found who I am but working on it now
- Can’t concentrate on playing with kids /books etc have to be doing more than one thing
- Rejection sensitive to the extreme
- Like to stick to rules and get upset when others don’t, like queuing etc
- Low self esteem
- Horribly sensitive to loud noises, social settings, crowds, overwhelm
- Can’t cope with people talking in class (either at school or as mature student)
- Worry what others think of me constantly and adjust behaviour to suit
- Converse with humour and charm to cover being shy/anxious - masking?
- I appear very confident and outgoing
- Can’t cope with changes in plans/christmas!
- Emotional meltdown over seemingly small things
- Repeat conversations over and over when alone, out loud or in head
- Plan conversations, repeat out loud over and over
- Not hyperactive at all
- Don’t want anyone in my home - find this incredibly stressful
- Perfectionism and perceived judgement if I’m not perfect
- Blame myself for everything
- Brain feels actually fizzing until I write something down, tick a box, achieve a task.
- Used to cry constantly as a child, looked miserable in photos, became a family joke that I was grumpy
- Felt choked up, like I couldn’t talk as a young child
- Excitement from maths, countdown! New maths books
- Capital cities and airport codes, almost thrilling
- Would rather deep conversations than small talk.
- Prefer one on one conversation to group
- “Grumpy Bear” my childhood toy - given to me because I was always crying / grumpy - pigeon holed
- I hate people making assumptions about me without even getting to know me
