End of relationship - Life rebuild in progress?

First, I'm really sorry for what happened.

Several times in my life I've been through severe and sudden changes and what helped me remember of who I was were short note diaries and my dogs. I don't do notes anymore, but I got dogs. I never thought of it previously, but you put it very well into words: it's basic rules. And more detail can be added as time goes. Dogs do indeed help me pull through. They're also the closest to 'a friend' I've got (as I'm not a local either, so no common grounds in culture/subcultures, same school/uni/classes, no observation of local social interactions (and inability to learn from that!) to even attempt building friendships (plus, a non-verbal, divergent 4 1/2 years old kid means not many chances for social interactions due to eloping or meltdowns)), so dogs, essentially, and are a very important part of my family (and life).

It'll get built around it. With time. 

My step mum has apologised, said he groomed her etc. I've said we will move on, but I'll never trust her again. 36 years she's been my step mum. I'll never trust again.

Broken trust is the hardest part. I hope and wish you, you find someone you can trust again. I do not do hugs, but virtually that's different.

This happened to me 15 months ago. We had been together 9 years. He walked out, and never came back. He didn't even say goodbye to his 13 year-old step children. I them went on to find out that he had been in a 5 year text 'relationship/friendship' with my step mum. Everything I said was repeated to her. She agreed with him when he said negative things about me. Feels like total betrayal. She said she was groomed by him. Nothing physical or sexual, allegedly. She said she didn't tell me sooner because she was scared she would lose contact with the children. I don't think I'll trust again.

Awe, I can't imagine why someone would throw a dog away

Dogs are special - I love Astrid, she always brightens my day up and the little things she does makes me smile

Separation is hard for everyone I guess. Although today is day 4 and I am functioning ok. I work, I take care of myself and Lucky. I managed get some admin task done like council tax and house and everything. 

I don't know, I really don't want to socialise like going out and everything. (apart if someone says let's go plane spotting or pet some highland cows) What I always was missing in my life is a friend... like a real friend. I don't know how to explain that. 

We named Lucky because the owner was about to throw her into a rubbish bin, because she was a 'girl'. That was back in Spain when I lived there. And well, we couldn't let that happen. She was like few days old. Now she's 11. 
Dogs are amazing companions. 

Plus with me being autistic as well it fits!

We actually named her after Astrid from the channel 4 series 'Astrid murder in Paris' as the character is quiet and shy and that's what Astrid reminded us of!

Yes, Lucky is my anchor. She feels something is off with me but she still needs her routine so helps me this way to keep my routine. 
Astrid is a nice name, reminds me of Astrid Lindgren. 

sorry to hear of this. 

Lucky is a lovely name for a dog - plus you're lucky to have each other. I have a family Yorkshire Terrier called Astrid 

Although I've not been in the same situation I'd say focus on yourself and let yourself feel all the emotions you need to. Try to self care as well because this might help

Hi Vera and welcome to our community. Lots of good folk with varied interests here and we support one another. I am sorry to read of how your relationship has ended and can imagine how painful that is for you. Hopefully Lucky and your mum can support you as you adjust.

I joined this community to hang out with fellow neurodivergent people and it's helping me, so I hope it will do the same for you. Happy to swap notes with you on life and hobbies if you like. I love dogs and have a terrier. I live in Yorkshire but I was brought up in the North West. I am AuDHD, diagnosed last year, and I am suspected of having C-PTSD too. 

Whoa! That is very sudden and I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. I’m actually getting a little deja vu because another user has recently experienced something similar in this post, so you might want to check that out and connect with the poster on that thread.

I’m also available via messages if you want a pen pal from America.

Hello Vera,

I’m sorry to hear things have been difficult in your relationship. It’s really positive that you’re looking to build new friendships. The NAS website has a directory where you can search for local clubs and social groups that might suit you: https://www.autism.org.uk/autism-services-directory

You may also find it helpful to connect with others here on the forum—there’s a welcoming community, and it’s a good place to start forming new friendships.

Wishing you all the best,

Karin Mod

I have been through something similar a few years ago (pre ASD diagnosis) and I have found it very hard. I wish you the best of luck. Here is a good start just to post and join in with the conversations.

I was lost and alone when it happened to me. I still do not socialise very much as I find it hard.