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I texted my cousin tonight

NAS71232

I probably shouldn't have. I just wanted to know if she is ok. I felt bad as I haven't contacted her for years. She didn't reply and I'm not surprised. I was going to tell her bout my condition.

My head jumps around like a jumping bean. I'm in pain. I'm undiagnosed and I'm sure I have severe ADHD.

I'm on my own. I don't have friends. I'm living with my mother atm, but I'm looking to get a DSS property. That would be the worst. I would rather have a council property with a garden, but they rejected my application to be on the waiting list. I'm posting this as my mind is compromised and maybe I can be on the list with advice.

My GP has me on pregabiln twice a day for anxiety and I have to take other  meds for my divertiulosis and barrett's oesophagus. I need help please. My mother doesn't understand.

If I can be in a council house, I can die happy, even if in pain. I won't have the anxiety of a private landlord walking in when he likes and kicking me out with two months notice. The fact that they rejected my application with all my medical ailments tells me that I'm a stain. Burnt toast.

I can almost hear it, "You don't have children, so why should we house you? Who cares? It's your problem"

I'm fully aware that my mind is deteriorating, but I'd just like to experience it in private.

Is that even possible?

I won't talk to anyone. I'll just tend to my plants.

Parents

  • Hey, I can't follow it fully, but try not to do complex thinking at night, especially about the future as people are rarely in a good state of mind then. I think of it like trying to do a dot-to-dot where all the numbers are mixed up and jump around, so rather than getting a clear picture, it's a bit of a mess and it's harder to see. 

    Don't give up though, it's not you, I think the councils try to keep people off their lists so it makes them look better, but maybe try CAB to see if there is anything you can do? Some councils are in a terrible way for funding and housing, so it is difficult, try not to take it personally. You'll get there eventually, just the road there can be bumpy and little more than a trail at times, but do keep at it. And look after your health at best you can in the mean time.

Reply

  • Hey, I can't follow it fully, but try not to do complex thinking at night, especially about the future as people are rarely in a good state of mind then. I think of it like trying to do a dot-to-dot where all the numbers are mixed up and jump around, so rather than getting a clear picture, it's a bit of a mess and it's harder to see. 

    Don't give up though, it's not you, I think the councils try to keep people off their lists so it makes them look better, but maybe try CAB to see if there is anything you can do? Some councils are in a terrible way for funding and housing, so it is difficult, try not to take it personally. You'll get there eventually, just the road there can be bumpy and little more than a trail at times, but do keep at it. And look after your health at best you can in the mean time.

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