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vulnerability and sexuality in schools

longman

As the issue has arisen recently I wanted to raise a few questions, hopefully for NAS to look at, if they would only include this as an area needing research.

Primarily wearing odd clothing, having odd hairstyles, not washing properly, is attributed to being over-focussed (neglecting to look after oneself), or due to sensitivity, mainly hyposensitivity, but sometimes a response to hypersensitivity.

But I also wonder whether to some extent it is a defence mechanism - being smelly, unattractive and otherwise someone to avoid prevents unwelcome contact with others.

That might be sensory issues with contact, or a response to bullying, but it could also be a response to unwelcome contact with peers.

Adolescents experiment sexually, even while at school - there are plenty of opportunities. They also experiment with sexualities. A vulnerable child on the spectrum, possibly suggestible, or easily led, or seeking to please, could be roped in to providing a subject for such experimentation.

I wonder whether that vulnerability, which I think is widespread and commonplace in mainstream schools, leads children on the spectrum to use unattractiveness as a defence mechanism.

I also wonder if enough is known about the social geography of adolescents on the spectrum in schools. It isn't just about being lonely and left out of recreation, or needing to find a quiet place, how often is it about appearing inobvious, unnoticeable, being able to hide or stay out of sight?

I dont think enough is known about this. We keep reading about adolescents on the spectrum having a particularly difficult time - not fitting in and being excluded from peer socialisation and play, being bullied etc., but is enough known about vulnerability to sexual experimentation by their peers.

No doubt everyone will clam up as soon as I've raised this. But I do think this is important. It is an area of adolescent life for children on the spectrum that isn't adequately understood but could have long term harmful impact on individuals.

NAS in particular, please give this spome consideration.

Parents

  • The trouble is that everything is highly sexualised. I've grown up in a generation where sex is portrayed everywhere in modern society, from models on billboards or TV wearing practically nothing to easily accessed sexualised films and tv shows.

    In high school, I despised the boy sitting next to me as he (like many other boys in my year group) would sit in lessons watching porn accessed via their mobile phones.

    Not something you want near you in Year 10 science.

    Society has become more comfortable with sex, but there isn't enough out there about forming relationships. Celebrities and characters that are 'valued' by society are often promiscuous, manipulative and self obsessed. They don't care what happens to their 'victims' as long as they're successful (see many contestants in popular shows such as Big Brother). Sex Ed was an embarrassed woman showing you how to put a condom on and telling the class that STD's were bad. No images of damage, no discussions, simply 'have sex, wear condom, don't get pregnant'.

    The biggest issue is and still remains peer pressure. 'Cool' kids have sex, 'whimps' are virgins. All vulnerable kids and teens looking to fit in are taken advantage of out of their desperation, which is why there needs to be more emphasis on relationships before sex. But with celebrities jumping in and out of each others beds all the time, gossip being taken as gospel and hordes of kids preferring not to think for themselves, I worry this isn't going to change.

    I was lucky that I learned not to trust the other kids in high school, so many of them tried to manipulate me for their own selfish reasons, whether it was to try and steal some of my homework answers, or to try and manipulate me into a 'relationship' which would have inevitably ended in sex then being dumped. When it became clear I didn't trust them or believe their lies, they moved on to their next 'target'.

    And it wasn't just boys trying to get into my pants, it was the vicious girls who were reknown for sleeping around that constantly tried setting up more vulnerable girls in situations where their male friends would then take advantage of the vulnerable girls.

    Society is warped.

Reply

  • The trouble is that everything is highly sexualised. I've grown up in a generation where sex is portrayed everywhere in modern society, from models on billboards or TV wearing practically nothing to easily accessed sexualised films and tv shows.

    In high school, I despised the boy sitting next to me as he (like many other boys in my year group) would sit in lessons watching porn accessed via their mobile phones.

    Not something you want near you in Year 10 science.

    Society has become more comfortable with sex, but there isn't enough out there about forming relationships. Celebrities and characters that are 'valued' by society are often promiscuous, manipulative and self obsessed. They don't care what happens to their 'victims' as long as they're successful (see many contestants in popular shows such as Big Brother). Sex Ed was an embarrassed woman showing you how to put a condom on and telling the class that STD's were bad. No images of damage, no discussions, simply 'have sex, wear condom, don't get pregnant'.

    The biggest issue is and still remains peer pressure. 'Cool' kids have sex, 'whimps' are virgins. All vulnerable kids and teens looking to fit in are taken advantage of out of their desperation, which is why there needs to be more emphasis on relationships before sex. But with celebrities jumping in and out of each others beds all the time, gossip being taken as gospel and hordes of kids preferring not to think for themselves, I worry this isn't going to change.

    I was lucky that I learned not to trust the other kids in high school, so many of them tried to manipulate me for their own selfish reasons, whether it was to try and steal some of my homework answers, or to try and manipulate me into a 'relationship' which would have inevitably ended in sex then being dumped. When it became clear I didn't trust them or believe their lies, they moved on to their next 'target'.

    And it wasn't just boys trying to get into my pants, it was the vicious girls who were reknown for sleeping around that constantly tried setting up more vulnerable girls in situations where their male friends would then take advantage of the vulnerable girls.

    Society is warped.

Children
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