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vulnerability and sexuality in schools

longman

As the issue has arisen recently I wanted to raise a few questions, hopefully for NAS to look at, if they would only include this as an area needing research.

Primarily wearing odd clothing, having odd hairstyles, not washing properly, is attributed to being over-focussed (neglecting to look after oneself), or due to sensitivity, mainly hyposensitivity, but sometimes a response to hypersensitivity.

But I also wonder whether to some extent it is a defence mechanism - being smelly, unattractive and otherwise someone to avoid prevents unwelcome contact with others.

That might be sensory issues with contact, or a response to bullying, but it could also be a response to unwelcome contact with peers.

Adolescents experiment sexually, even while at school - there are plenty of opportunities. They also experiment with sexualities. A vulnerable child on the spectrum, possibly suggestible, or easily led, or seeking to please, could be roped in to providing a subject for such experimentation.

I wonder whether that vulnerability, which I think is widespread and commonplace in mainstream schools, leads children on the spectrum to use unattractiveness as a defence mechanism.

I also wonder if enough is known about the social geography of adolescents on the spectrum in schools. It isn't just about being lonely and left out of recreation, or needing to find a quiet place, how often is it about appearing inobvious, unnoticeable, being able to hide or stay out of sight?

I dont think enough is known about this. We keep reading about adolescents on the spectrum having a particularly difficult time - not fitting in and being excluded from peer socialisation and play, being bullied etc., but is enough known about vulnerability to sexual experimentation by their peers.

No doubt everyone will clam up as soon as I've raised this. But I do think this is important. It is an area of adolescent life for children on the spectrum that isn't adequately understood but could have long term harmful impact on individuals.

NAS in particular, please give this spome consideration.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    KaloJaro said:

    I agree with Lydia that sexuality is influenced primarily by genetics. And it can be inherited, the reason why other sexualities are becoming more 'popular' is due to society becoming more open about the subjects and allowing non-heterosexual people to go about without fear (mostly) of being persecuted for their instinctive behaviour.

    I disagree with the words "primarily" and "instinctive" here. I don't think the data supports the suggestion that gays are gay primarily because of their genetics. There are lots of articles that have demonstrated peer influences on sexual behaviour if you don't mind wading through the bowels of google scholar http://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=relationship+sexuality+peer+pressure&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholar

    One article that caught my eye talks about the moderating influence of parents on the peer pressure. If kids get some sex education from their parents then this changes the child's behaviour away from the crowd influence: http://jar.sagepub.com/content/15/2/251.short

    To my mind there is a lot of "confirmation bias" and group-think going on on both sides of the debate. Hysteria and hypothesis rule the day where there is actually a body of evidence that documents how it really is.

    I think it is interesting to substitute the word "experimental" for "instinctive" in KaloJaros piece. If experimentation leads you to discover something nice and society accepts this as normal or OK then you will continue with the practice. This doesn't mean that you are coded to be gay it just means that you have found it easy to obtain sexual gratification. That's my opinion and its probably pushing the boundaries and offending people so I'm sorry if it has offended.

    I agree with a lot of what KaloJaro says otherwise.

    I feel that the world can be a rather drab place if men can't dress as men and women can't dress as women. I completely agree that the type of woman or man who goes out with everything on display and nothing is left to the imagination is absolutely to be avoided. The most interesting relationships are formed where you respect the intellect of the other party and a relationship can be based on trust, conversation, integrity, sustainable living and enough sex to satisfy our animal instincts. If you omit one of these elemnts (I guess there are other facets but you get the idea) then it is less likely to endure and satisfy both parties. In between the drab dungarees and the let it all hang out style I think most people can find a comfortable medium where they are not ashamed for being a man or a woman, and where you can be comfortable in your own skin.

    It seems to me that there is a vicious circle where we behave a bit strangely, get bullied, can't work out how to conform, get to the frankly not caring stage and then just appearing odd for the rest of our lives. I think the outcome is unfortunate and its one I avoided to the point where I didn't realise that I was odd. I dressed like everyone else, the bullying ceased and I got through 56 years before I really worked out that I was actually different. I never had that feeling of being different like a lot of people but in hindsight I never did just follow the crowd, I always rebelled but kept up an NT facade and that reduced the bullying by a large degree.

    NTs are instinctively predators - perhaps this is a valuable mechanism for ensuring that we keep the human race going by reproduction. I actually think a lot of NTs behave more like a flock of sheep and that they will follow each other over cliffs like lemmings on occasion. The ASD influence is often contrarian which occasionally is necessary to bring down the worst excesses of the NT conformity.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    KaloJaro said:

    I agree with Lydia that sexuality is influenced primarily by genetics. And it can be inherited, the reason why other sexualities are becoming more 'popular' is due to society becoming more open about the subjects and allowing non-heterosexual people to go about without fear (mostly) of being persecuted for their instinctive behaviour.

    I disagree with the words "primarily" and "instinctive" here. I don't think the data supports the suggestion that gays are gay primarily because of their genetics. There are lots of articles that have demonstrated peer influences on sexual behaviour if you don't mind wading through the bowels of google scholar http://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=relationship+sexuality+peer+pressure&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholar

    One article that caught my eye talks about the moderating influence of parents on the peer pressure. If kids get some sex education from their parents then this changes the child's behaviour away from the crowd influence: http://jar.sagepub.com/content/15/2/251.short

    To my mind there is a lot of "confirmation bias" and group-think going on on both sides of the debate. Hysteria and hypothesis rule the day where there is actually a body of evidence that documents how it really is.

    I think it is interesting to substitute the word "experimental" for "instinctive" in KaloJaros piece. If experimentation leads you to discover something nice and society accepts this as normal or OK then you will continue with the practice. This doesn't mean that you are coded to be gay it just means that you have found it easy to obtain sexual gratification. That's my opinion and its probably pushing the boundaries and offending people so I'm sorry if it has offended.

    I agree with a lot of what KaloJaro says otherwise.

    I feel that the world can be a rather drab place if men can't dress as men and women can't dress as women. I completely agree that the type of woman or man who goes out with everything on display and nothing is left to the imagination is absolutely to be avoided. The most interesting relationships are formed where you respect the intellect of the other party and a relationship can be based on trust, conversation, integrity, sustainable living and enough sex to satisfy our animal instincts. If you omit one of these elemnts (I guess there are other facets but you get the idea) then it is less likely to endure and satisfy both parties. In between the drab dungarees and the let it all hang out style I think most people can find a comfortable medium where they are not ashamed for being a man or a woman, and where you can be comfortable in your own skin.

    It seems to me that there is a vicious circle where we behave a bit strangely, get bullied, can't work out how to conform, get to the frankly not caring stage and then just appearing odd for the rest of our lives. I think the outcome is unfortunate and its one I avoided to the point where I didn't realise that I was odd. I dressed like everyone else, the bullying ceased and I got through 56 years before I really worked out that I was actually different. I never had that feeling of being different like a lot of people but in hindsight I never did just follow the crowd, I always rebelled but kept up an NT facade and that reduced the bullying by a large degree.

    NTs are instinctively predators - perhaps this is a valuable mechanism for ensuring that we keep the human race going by reproduction. I actually think a lot of NTs behave more like a flock of sheep and that they will follow each other over cliffs like lemmings on occasion. The ASD influence is often contrarian which occasionally is necessary to bring down the worst excesses of the NT conformity.

Children
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