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vulnerability and sexuality in schools

longman

As the issue has arisen recently I wanted to raise a few questions, hopefully for NAS to look at, if they would only include this as an area needing research.

Primarily wearing odd clothing, having odd hairstyles, not washing properly, is attributed to being over-focussed (neglecting to look after oneself), or due to sensitivity, mainly hyposensitivity, but sometimes a response to hypersensitivity.

But I also wonder whether to some extent it is a defence mechanism - being smelly, unattractive and otherwise someone to avoid prevents unwelcome contact with others.

That might be sensory issues with contact, or a response to bullying, but it could also be a response to unwelcome contact with peers.

Adolescents experiment sexually, even while at school - there are plenty of opportunities. They also experiment with sexualities. A vulnerable child on the spectrum, possibly suggestible, or easily led, or seeking to please, could be roped in to providing a subject for such experimentation.

I wonder whether that vulnerability, which I think is widespread and commonplace in mainstream schools, leads children on the spectrum to use unattractiveness as a defence mechanism.

I also wonder if enough is known about the social geography of adolescents on the spectrum in schools. It isn't just about being lonely and left out of recreation, or needing to find a quiet place, how often is it about appearing inobvious, unnoticeable, being able to hide or stay out of sight?

I dont think enough is known about this. We keep reading about adolescents on the spectrum having a particularly difficult time - not fitting in and being excluded from peer socialisation and play, being bullied etc., but is enough known about vulnerability to sexual experimentation by their peers.

No doubt everyone will clam up as soon as I've raised this. But I do think this is important. It is an area of adolescent life for children on the spectrum that isn't adequately understood but could have long term harmful impact on individuals.

NAS in particular, please give this spome consideration.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    There are lots of things going on in this and I suspect that it would be a mistake to think we know what the "average" autie goes though. My slightly random and slightly non PC thoughts follw...

    As you grow from asexual childhood to being a sexual adult I gather that many people go through an uncertain phase where they are not sure where there orientation should be. I went through a bit of this, I didn't pick up a lot of the signals that are flashing around between teenagers - I was never aware of anyone fancying me and it took a very forward female to initiate me. Having experienced it I have no doubt about my heterosexuality. I'm very comfortable with this. I also think I would miss the fulfilment of having kids. I'm actually concerned about the PC views that inhibit the promotion of heterosexuality as I think the media promote homosexuality out of all proportion to common sense. We are all the product of millions of generations of sexual reproduction that has brought us from the primeval soup to modern homo sapiens - it seems a bit short sighted to ignore that heritage and just to decide to be "different" because we have the freedom to choose.

    At school I was bullied but there was never any attempt to make sexual advances that I was aware of. Being big and tall for my age probable helped.

    On the separate issue of messy clothes and appearance. I know someone who would fit this description. I'm not sure whether it comes out of a lack of awareness of how odd he looks. He actually really doesn't care what people think and he's entirely comfortable with that. His female partner doesn't seem to be bothered and it hasn't stopped him acquiring a mate. I probably had slightly odd clothing as a teenager but learned to dress conventionally and have never had an issue. My aspie Father in Law doesn't give a damn about what he looks like or what anyone says, he just says its their problem if anyone makes a comment.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    There are lots of things going on in this and I suspect that it would be a mistake to think we know what the "average" autie goes though. My slightly random and slightly non PC thoughts follw...

    As you grow from asexual childhood to being a sexual adult I gather that many people go through an uncertain phase where they are not sure where there orientation should be. I went through a bit of this, I didn't pick up a lot of the signals that are flashing around between teenagers - I was never aware of anyone fancying me and it took a very forward female to initiate me. Having experienced it I have no doubt about my heterosexuality. I'm very comfortable with this. I also think I would miss the fulfilment of having kids. I'm actually concerned about the PC views that inhibit the promotion of heterosexuality as I think the media promote homosexuality out of all proportion to common sense. We are all the product of millions of generations of sexual reproduction that has brought us from the primeval soup to modern homo sapiens - it seems a bit short sighted to ignore that heritage and just to decide to be "different" because we have the freedom to choose.

    At school I was bullied but there was never any attempt to make sexual advances that I was aware of. Being big and tall for my age probable helped.

    On the separate issue of messy clothes and appearance. I know someone who would fit this description. I'm not sure whether it comes out of a lack of awareness of how odd he looks. He actually really doesn't care what people think and he's entirely comfortable with that. His female partner doesn't seem to be bothered and it hasn't stopped him acquiring a mate. I probably had slightly odd clothing as a teenager but learned to dress conventionally and have never had an issue. My aspie Father in Law doesn't give a damn about what he looks like or what anyone says, he just says its their problem if anyone makes a comment.

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