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Being easily manipulated

RohannT91

Hello, this is my first time posting on here, hope everyone is well. 

I am a 34 year old man with AuDHD. I am really struggling at the moment with a lot of things but a big thing I've realised is that I have been being manipulated, used and exploited by people I thought were 'friends'.

One of them used me for almost 2 years until somebody else recognised it and put a stop to it about 6 months ago. I had done so many favours, spent so much money, been drawn into so much drama, had so much responsibility put on me that I completely isolated myself from anyone and anything else.

Over the past few months, having reflected on the situation and spoken to people, I realised I was scared of her, unable to set boundaries and thought that it was how friendship was. 

Then the past week I have stupidly been drawn into a situation that has now really made me realise just how easily manipulated and vulnerable I am when it comes to others, because I've stupidly sent over £150 to someone I've never met who I now know was only pretending to be my friend and was coercing me, guilt tripping me and trying to bribe me. 

I've had to contact my bank, PayPal and a company he had me buy cards from today and I'm so ashamed. There isn't much they can do and my bank have blocked my card and sent a new one - and also marked me as vulnerable... But I just feel so stupid as I didn't even have that money to give, it was out of my overdraft. 

Sorry for the rant, just I can't tell anyone else in my life because they'll be angry at my stupidity. 

Parents

  • Good afternoon from America, RohannT91.

    I’m the same age as you and I was scammed/manipulated a lot growing up. Now I’m at a point where I don’t trust anything remotely suspicious, but I still find it extremely difficult to say no to people. So I get what you’re saying.

    One thing I want to make clear is that you falling for another scam does not mean that you are doomed to keep falling for them. Even if we’re a bit more susceptible to them as Autistics, we can learn to sniff them out over time.

    So here’s an idea: If you ever get into a situation where you think you might be getting scammed, post about it here. As you can see from the earlier replies, we don’t judge, but we can inform if something sounds suspicious. And if you’re too embarrassed to ask us about it, then it’s probably a scam, right? That’s how I learned to sus out scams: If I’m too embarrassed to discuss it with a trusted confidant, then it’s probably not right.

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  • Good afternoon from America, RohannT91.

    I’m the same age as you and I was scammed/manipulated a lot growing up. Now I’m at a point where I don’t trust anything remotely suspicious, but I still find it extremely difficult to say no to people. So I get what you’re saying.

    One thing I want to make clear is that you falling for another scam does not mean that you are doomed to keep falling for them. Even if we’re a bit more susceptible to them as Autistics, we can learn to sniff them out over time.

    So here’s an idea: If you ever get into a situation where you think you might be getting scammed, post about it here. As you can see from the earlier replies, we don’t judge, but we can inform if something sounds suspicious. And if you’re too embarrassed to ask us about it, then it’s probably a scam, right? That’s how I learned to sus out scams: If I’m too embarrassed to discuss it with a trusted confidant, then it’s probably not right.

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