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Being easily manipulated

RohannT91

Hello, this is my first time posting on here, hope everyone is well. 

I am a 34 year old man with AuDHD. I am really struggling at the moment with a lot of things but a big thing I've realised is that I have been being manipulated, used and exploited by people I thought were 'friends'.

One of them used me for almost 2 years until somebody else recognised it and put a stop to it about 6 months ago. I had done so many favours, spent so much money, been drawn into so much drama, had so much responsibility put on me that I completely isolated myself from anyone and anything else.

Over the past few months, having reflected on the situation and spoken to people, I realised I was scared of her, unable to set boundaries and thought that it was how friendship was. 

Then the past week I have stupidly been drawn into a situation that has now really made me realise just how easily manipulated and vulnerable I am when it comes to others, because I've stupidly sent over £150 to someone I've never met who I now know was only pretending to be my friend and was coercing me, guilt tripping me and trying to bribe me. 

I've had to contact my bank, PayPal and a company he had me buy cards from today and I'm so ashamed. There isn't much they can do and my bank have blocked my card and sent a new one - and also marked me as vulnerable... But I just feel so stupid as I didn't even have that money to give, it was out of my overdraft. 

Sorry for the rant, just I can't tell anyone else in my life because they'll be angry at my stupidity. 

Parents

  • Navigating friendships is really really difficult, we want to believe the best in people, but somehow manage to attract the worst of people.

    Maybe you could go to a therapist and work on this issue? How can you learn to recognise when someones scamming you, how to say no etc?

    So many people are or have been in your situation, many of them NT's its not just us ND's, some people have lost everything, you're not alone and everybody who is or has been in your situation will be feeling the same as you.

    You've told us and thats a big start.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    So hard isn't it. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Yeh I know a guy who was scammed out of his life savings and lost everything he had built for his future over 1 phone scam! :(

    I have had the same therapist for 10 years for a variety of reasons and he's awesome, he helped me through the last issue when I told him but I haven't been able to see him since before Christmas as he isn't NHS and I can't afford it at the moment.

    I've been looking it up myself since though, especially in relation to ND's to try and understand what happens and how to prevent it. Hopefully gaining some understanding (and the support here) will help me to avoid it in the future 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    So hard isn't it. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Yeh I know a guy who was scammed out of his life savings and lost everything he had built for his future over 1 phone scam! :(

    I have had the same therapist for 10 years for a variety of reasons and he's awesome, he helped me through the last issue when I told him but I haven't been able to see him since before Christmas as he isn't NHS and I can't afford it at the moment.

    I've been looking it up myself since though, especially in relation to ND's to try and understand what happens and how to prevent it. Hopefully gaining some understanding (and the support here) will help me to avoid it in the future 

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