Not sure how to move forward post diagnosis.

I've spent over a year trying to come to terms with how my life could have been different. The grief was intense. I may take you a year or more to process it. It's hard.

Don't bury it. Try to face it. Get angry and upset. But also try to accept it.

Ultimate you have no choice but to try to find a way to look forwards and find new things to.look forwards too. I know this is true, but it is hard to accept, change is hard and letting go feels impossible. But the only alternative is to stay stuck.

Realising things did t have to be this way is sort of false. You are who you are because of the path you followed. You wouldn't be where you are now if you had done different things. You might be better or worse, it is impossible to know. The mind tends to imagine the best case only. 

It takes time to accept. Cognitively you can know things, but the emotional system runs on a different longer schedule.

Be kind to yourself allow it to take time. It will become easier.

Thank you. Life just feels so impossible right now. I will try to give it time for me to process this and for things to settle. 

You need to make some space. Anything that doesn't need to be done, put off for a few months or longer. Don't feel guilty. Just leave stuff if it's not essential. Take away as much mental load as possible. If you live on beans on toast for 6 weeks it won't hurt. Make things simple. Leave the garden, you don't need new clothes, housework, etc.

Try to stop taking everything so seriously. This worked for me. If you work, don't lose your job, but don't treat it like life or death and the mist important thing ever. Do your hours but as soon as you leave forget about it.

Try to find at least one thing a day you like, it doesn't have to cost anything. 5 minutes on the garden listening to the birds watching the clouds, or a nice bath, buy a new plant, or some chocolate, or your favourite drink. Whatever makes you smile. Don't feel guilty for treating yourself. Try to bring yourself into the moment when you for it. Just for a few minutes focus just on what you are doing, the rest doesn't matter.

Also try to make a list of the good things. There will be some. They can be a small, I have a comfy chair, I have shoes that don't leak, I have a nice coat, I have food in the fridge, the heating is working, I have clean water and stuff to drink, I am healthy, I can see, hear, I have internet access, etc.

You may find that there are lots of good things to be grateful for and you are zooming in on the bad. There might not be that many bad things. I do this, I tend to fall for all the cognitive distortions, it is a real problem. Sometimes it helps to try to get some perspective. 

Being unhappy feels all consuming, particularly if overloaded, confused, worrying and trying to make sense of things. Burnout and depression loom similar and can overlap. But make some space abd do something nice for yourself.

You need to make some space. Anything that doesn't need to be done, put off for a few months or longer. Don't feel guilty. Just leave stuff if it's not essential. Take away as much mental load as possible. If you live on beans on toast for 6 weeks it won't hurt. Make things simple. Leave the garden, you don't need new clothes, housework, etc.

Try to stop taking everything so seriously. This worked for me. If you work, don't lose your job, but don't treat it like life or death and the mist important thing ever. Do your hours but as soon as you leave forget about it.

Try to find at least one thing a day you like, it doesn't have to cost anything. 5 minutes on the garden listening to the birds watching the clouds, or a nice bath, buy a new plant, or some chocolate, or your favourite drink. Whatever makes you smile. Don't feel guilty for treating yourself. Try to bring yourself into the moment when you for it. Just for a few minutes focus just on what you are doing, the rest doesn't matter.

Also try to make a list of the good things. There will be some. They can be a small, I have a comfy chair, I have shoes that don't leak, I have a nice coat, I have food in the fridge, the heating is working, I have clean water and stuff to drink, I am healthy, I can see, hear, I have internet access, etc.

You may find that there are lots of good things to be grateful for and you are zooming in on the bad. There might not be that many bad things. I do this, I tend to fall for all the cognitive distortions, it is a real problem. Sometimes it helps to try to get some perspective. 

Being unhappy feels all consuming, particularly if overloaded, confused, worrying and trying to make sense of things. Burnout and depression loom similar and can overlap. But make some space abd do something nice for yourself.