High masking self v Authentic autistic self

I am not sure that the idea that masking is universally bad is a useful concept for all autistic people. Personally, I reject the idea that I am not my authentic self at all times. I am a complex being with a lot of learned strategies for interacting with other people, I use what is appropriate to the occasion. In some cases my learned abilities come with a price in exhaustion. It does not mean that using these abilities is wrong or equates to me being inauthentic. It is just that I have to recognise my limitations and try not to exceed my limits on the amount of time or the intensity that I employ them.

Sometimes I had overdo things, my job involved occasional presentations of my work to colleagues and at conferences, sometimes to large audiences. I knew that giving a 20 minute or 30 minute presentation would leave me in a semi-catatonic state for at least the rest of the day - if not longer. Therefore, after answering any questions, I would leave, go back home or wherever I was staying and be alone and do nothing until I felt I could function again with other people. For most people, certainly most autistic people, a level of occasional discomfort is the inevitable price we pay for achieving any goals we have. Getting an acceptable balance between discomfort and the rewards is the hard part. Exceeding our limits in a consistent manner leads to meltdowns, shutdowns and autistic burnout and needs to be avoided. 

I am not sure that the idea that masking is universally bad is a useful concept for all autistic people. Personally, I reject the idea that I am not my authentic self at all times. I am a complex being with a lot of learned strategies for interacting with other people, I use what is appropriate to the occasion. In some cases my learned abilities come with a price in exhaustion. It does not mean that using these abilities is wrong or equates to me being inauthentic. It is just that I have to recognise my limitations and try not to exceed my limits on the amount of time or the intensity that I employ them.

Sometimes I had overdo things, my job involved occasional presentations of my work to colleagues and at conferences, sometimes to large audiences. I knew that giving a 20 minute or 30 minute presentation would leave me in a semi-catatonic state for at least the rest of the day - if not longer. Therefore, after answering any questions, I would leave, go back home or wherever I was staying and be alone and do nothing until I felt I could function again with other people. For most people, certainly most autistic people, a level of occasional discomfort is the inevitable price we pay for achieving any goals we have. Getting an acceptable balance between discomfort and the rewards is the hard part. Exceeding our limits in a consistent manner leads to meltdowns, shutdowns and autistic burnout and needs to be avoided.