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The need for perfection

DanielleH

Hi All, 

brand new to this so not sure if I'm using correctly! I'm 31 and was diagnosed last year with both autism and ADHD, also in the process of getting a dyspraxia diagnosis.

I don't know if this is an autism, ADHD, maybe OCD or just a me thing BUT I am such a control freak when it comes to the house. I feel like everything has to be in its correct place all the time. I cant relax if the the tea towel is hung incorrectly, shoes haven't been put away, the sofa cushions aren't fluffed up, blankets are folded correctly etc. I have this constant urge to have the house looking like a show home which is silly because that's so unrealistic!  My husband is not a messy person and always helps with tidying up but when he doesn't do it the way I want it, I become irritable and angry.

Has anyone got any tips to help me let go and relax a bit? Or could suggest a certain therapy they think would be good? I just want to be able to relax and be more chilled out. 

Thank you :)

Parents

  • Hi  and welcome. There's a lively community here  so dig in and I hope you feel lots of support. A couple of suggestions for you. Firstly, explore what belief underpins this urge - what would it mean about you if the house isn't just so? Maybe it's that thing which may need attention and care. Secondly, go to BBC Sounds and check out the episode of the Complex podcast about perfectionism (I mention this purely owing to the title of your post). Full disclosure - I am a recovering perfectionist who tidies and cleans when upset. Good luck and, again, it's good to have you here!

Reply

  • Hi  and welcome. There's a lively community here  so dig in and I hope you feel lots of support. A couple of suggestions for you. Firstly, explore what belief underpins this urge - what would it mean about you if the house isn't just so? Maybe it's that thing which may need attention and care. Secondly, go to BBC Sounds and check out the episode of the Complex podcast about perfectionism (I mention this purely owing to the title of your post). Full disclosure - I am a recovering perfectionist who tidies and cleans when upset. Good luck and, again, it's good to have you here!

Children