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PDA, homework issues. Motivation?

Dandelion

Hi, looking for some advice, no matter how unconventional

I am doing GCSES at 18, as I wasn't able to as a child due to a bad living situation and have started living by myself now. I have two lessons per week from a tutor, so mostly study at home. I have been told I have PDA as well as autism, but all of the advice I see online is just "take all expectations away". I cannot expect nothing of myself as an adult, I'd never progress in life.

I cannot for the life of me make myself do the homework. I don't think it's a motivation issue, I WANT to do it, but I will sit at my desk unable to for hours, an entire afternoon and evening, then give up and go to bed once it hits around midnight. "Getting it out of the way" doesn't even work as a reason to do it. There are a few subjects that I know I will pass very well with no revision and have decided to ignore those, but there are some that I NEED to do the homework for. I want to be a sociologist / a similar humanities job. I know this is the first step, but I feel like I get absolutely nothing out of doing homework, apart from having that job in, at the very least, 5 years. I do not find the subject matter interesting as it is aimed at 15 yos, but as someone who didn't attend most of secondary school, I have odd gaps in my knowledge so it is necessary to start from GCSE level.

I am also learning to play the drums. Alot of people tell me it's jjst like drum practice, but it's not. Every time I practice the drums I learn a new beat or new song. I can see myself getting better every time. I also crochet. I like crocheting things for friends as it makes them happy, and they use the items. I get no happiness out of giving my tutor completed homework, she is not my friend, and has marked 1000s of essays before mine. It's not even like a job that I hate, because I don't get paid for it.

What are some reasons / ways to motivate myself to do this, that aren't along the lines of "it's just jumping through a hoop".

Thankyou

Parents

  • That frozen-at-the-desk thing? It's classic PDA - your brain's not lazy, it's just screaming "no demands!" even when you want the outcome. The "take expectations away" line is useless for adults like you who need GCSEs to unlock real life. You need sneaky, low-pressure ways to slip past the avoidance without feeling like a hoop-jumper.

    From what PDA folks actually share (not generic advice), here's stuff that works without fake motivation:

    • Turn homework into "research for me" - Pretend you're already a sociologist. Write the essay as if you're interviewing a 15-year-old about their world - your gaps become "field notes," not boring revision. Feels like curiosity, not obligation.

    • Body double via screen  - Put on a silent "study with me" video (YouTube has tons - people just work quietly). It's like having someone there without talking. No pressure, but your brain tricks itself into starting.

    • Drum "power-up" breaks -  After 10 mins of staring, drum one quick beat (even on thighs). Not practice - just a reset. "I survived 10 mins, here's my reward." Builds proof you're moving, not stuck.

    • Crochet bridge - Finish a sentence? Crochet a tiny square. Stick it in your book as a marker. It's real, useful, for friends - not for tutor. Feels like "I did something cool," not "I did homework."

      • Zero-demand start - "I'll just read the question aloud - no writing." Often, once you're talking it out, the rest flows. PDA hates big starts, loves tiny ones.

      You're not failing - you're adulting with a brain that fights back. These aren't "hoops"; they're hacks to make progress feel like yours. Try one tonight - the crochet bridge or body double. If it flops, tomorrow's fresh.

Reply

  • That frozen-at-the-desk thing? It's classic PDA - your brain's not lazy, it's just screaming "no demands!" even when you want the outcome. The "take expectations away" line is useless for adults like you who need GCSEs to unlock real life. You need sneaky, low-pressure ways to slip past the avoidance without feeling like a hoop-jumper.

    From what PDA folks actually share (not generic advice), here's stuff that works without fake motivation:

    • Turn homework into "research for me" - Pretend you're already a sociologist. Write the essay as if you're interviewing a 15-year-old about their world - your gaps become "field notes," not boring revision. Feels like curiosity, not obligation.

    • Body double via screen  - Put on a silent "study with me" video (YouTube has tons - people just work quietly). It's like having someone there without talking. No pressure, but your brain tricks itself into starting.

    • Drum "power-up" breaks -  After 10 mins of staring, drum one quick beat (even on thighs). Not practice - just a reset. "I survived 10 mins, here's my reward." Builds proof you're moving, not stuck.

    • Crochet bridge - Finish a sentence? Crochet a tiny square. Stick it in your book as a marker. It's real, useful, for friends - not for tutor. Feels like "I did something cool," not "I did homework."

      • Zero-demand start - "I'll just read the question aloud - no writing." Often, once you're talking it out, the rest flows. PDA hates big starts, loves tiny ones.

      You're not failing - you're adulting with a brain that fights back. These aren't "hoops"; they're hacks to make progress feel like yours. Try one tonight - the crochet bridge or body double. If it flops, tomorrow's fresh.

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