Hi, looking for some advice, no matter how unconventional
I am doing GCSES at 18, as I wasn't able to as a child due to a bad living situation and have started living by myself now. I have two lessons per week from a tutor, so mostly study at home. I have been told I have PDA as well as autism, but all of the advice I see online is just "take all expectations away". I cannot expect nothing of myself as an adult, I'd never progress in life.
I cannot for the life of me make myself do the homework. I don't think it's a motivation issue, I WANT to do it, but I will sit at my desk unable to for hours, an entire afternoon and evening, then give up and go to bed once it hits around midnight. "Getting it out of the way" doesn't even work as a reason to do it. There are a few subjects that I know I will pass very well with no revision and have decided to ignore those, but there are some that I NEED to do the homework for. I want to be a sociologist / a similar humanities job. I know this is the first step, but I feel like I get absolutely nothing out of doing homework, apart from having that job in, at the very least, 5 years. I do not find the subject matter interesting as it is aimed at 15 yos, but as someone who didn't attend most of secondary school, I have odd gaps in my knowledge so it is necessary to start from GCSE level.
I am also learning to play the drums. Alot of people tell me it's jjst like drum practice, but it's not. Every time I practice the drums I learn a new beat or new song. I can see myself getting better every time. I also crochet. I like crocheting things for friends as it makes them happy, and they use the items. I get no happiness out of giving my tutor completed homework, she is not my friend, and has marked 1000s of essays before mine. It's not even like a job that I hate, because I don't get paid for it.
What are some reasons / ways to motivate myself to do this, that aren't along the lines of "it's just jumping through a hoop".
Thankyou