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Normal

Unsure

How do you know what is 'Normal'. What is the normal reaction to things. How do people react to situations normally.  How do you know if you've done the wrong thing, said the wrong thing. It is confusing and I'm sure leads to barriers going up, hyper alertness, on edge and shutting down making it even harder to communicate. So then how do you know whats real.

  • Normal is what a lot, if not most people do. But that’s very different to good. After all MacDonalds sell more meals than The Ivy. But that doesn’t make a Big Mac good. 

  • in reply to Cloudbaby1975

    A phrase I used to use many years ago was 'ordinarily different', I guess I was right.

    I've tended to shutdown I guess, put barriers up and apparently can appear emotionless.

  • I have often done and said the wrong thing. With wisdom I have learnt to pause more and listen to my intuition. Stunned silence can be an indicator that I have behaved in a way that is not considered to be normal. Oversharing, being too outspoken, you just kind of get the sense that you’ve committed some sort of faux pas by the way that people react to you but to be honest I tend to gravitate towards people who behave in these ways and I have heard it said that it’s best not to hide who you are otherwise the people who love you and value you won’t be able to find you! Who wants to be normal? Not sure I know what it means nor would want to be it were that a possibility. 

  • I don't know about normal, but if people aren't shouting at me or telling me off then I've got away with it, slipped under the radar as it were, so I guess that counts as normal

  • in reply to Iain

    Good explanation   The difference I sense is that it requires less sustained effort for NTs to learn, get and stay within that 'normal' range. 

  • Unsure said:
    How do you know what is 'Normal'. What is the normal reaction to things.

    In a word - experience.

    As you know, society is a complex thing and its rules of behavior and expectations vary significantly from one place to another, from one culture to another and even with time.

    To know what is normal you need to observe behaviour and absorb sources of information (guides and other peoples experiences are useful in the absence of perspnal experience). From this you can observe how people behave and how others react to what is considered abnormal behaviour.

    I think this is an activity that many autists shy away from because they avoid social situations and are often wrapped up in their opwn world or issues so will miss the observation part of the process.

    It is how NTs learn.