Is anyone else living undiagnosed?

People tell me I'm on the spectrum. Even the local greengrocers mentioned my autism to my mother.

I'm 49 next week. Is not easy for me as I have suffered two life threatening head traumas on top. Very bad traumas that I'm told has damaged my mind from close family members. One was attewmpted murder with prolonged head stamps.

I refrain from relationships of any kind. When I'm alone, I don't negatively affect anyone else. I'm kind of OK in my bubble.

On top of that I have painful barrett's oesophagus and advanced diverticulosis. The combination of this and anxiety has rendered me disabled. I take pregablin twice a day.

I'm not sure what to do. I Iive with my disabled mother and help her day to day.

I'm not eligible for a council property as I don't have children. I don't think I'm included in my mother's will either as my toxic sister has designs.  I'm ok with that.

Sorry for this post. I just thought I would share in case someone else is in the same situation. 

Maybe someone could advise me as I'm heading for a homeless nightmare. I couldn't go through with the autism diagnoses so I'm cooked. I'm just living day to day, but know that my living arrangement will all go wrong very soon when (God forbid) my mother is taken ill. 

I'm not expecting a reply. I find this post quite grotesque. It's my problem. I just went ahead and typed it out. Sorry if I offended.

Parents
  • Good morning from America, NAS71232.

    There’s not much help that I can provide, but there are a few things you said that has stuck out to me:

    When I'm alone, I don't negatively affect anyone else.

    I get that. I often push away friendships if I feel like I’m just a detriment to the other person. What you do have to realize though is that even though there are inevitably bad things you bring into a relationship, there is also inevitably some good you can bring as well.

    I don't think I'm included in my mother's will either as my toxic sister has designs.  I'm ok with that.

    I also have a toxic sister and I can easily imagine her being horrible when my parents eventually pass. Fortunately that’s a long way down the road for me, though. I think I can understand what you mean about being okay with that.

    I couldn't go through with the autism diagnoses so I'm cooked.

    I wonder why you can’t go through with getting a diagnosis? Is it that you don’t think you could handle going through the process, or is there an external factor preventing you from getting it? I know literally nothing about the UK social services programs, but I would imagine that you would be more likely to get the help you need if you were able to gain that diagnosis. 

  • "I wonder why you can't go through with a diagnosis?"

    It's obviously real that I have a condition. I worry if the diagnosis will affect me in the future. I don't think a diagnosis will help me get accommodation. I might have to buy a car to sleep in when it all goes wrong.

    I'm basically a text book defination of a loser. Born a dud. Why would the council house a dud with no children? I have no substantial contribution to society. An athiest in todays world is a ***. I am OK with this.

    Wiith all things considered, I would like to find a place to live without bothering anyone.

    I don't think it will be possible due to my condition and lack of children.

  • I'm finding it difficult to wake up due to fatigue. I think my colon might be leaking. I'm sorry, I know that is gross.

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