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Masking and late autism discovery

JohnCrane11

Hello, my names John - I’m a 45 year old guy from the uk. 

i have recently come to the realisation that I am autistic - this is through helping my daughter navigate through life and her researching things for herself which we’ve realised apply to me too - probably why I’ve been able to help her (things like messaging friends , why matter of fact texts may be causing others to misunderstand meaning, generally dealing with others). However I’ve realised I’ve been teaching her how to mask effectively. 

first question is should I be doing that and do other people with autism think that is a good idea - teaching to mask - to me if feels  inherently negative right now. 

Second question , do others feel lost and wonder that they have got so good at masking that they are unsure of who they really are  (I guess like what is their true self). I work in a job where I help vulnerable adults (homelessness). Right now I’m wondering if my desire to help people is just me masking into what I think is the right thing to do or do I genuinely want to help people? 

third …… is masking lying - I wonder if my relationships with people are real or they are relationships between them and my masked self? 

id love to know if anyone else has had these thoughts 

Parents

  • Masking and camouflaging is done by almost all autistic people who are capable of doing so. It is a survival strategy. It only becomes a problem if it is causing distress, when it can lead to mental health problems. I mask almost seamlessly, and other than fatigue if I overdo socialising, it causes me no distress and is useful in navigating the allistic world. I have, after some thought, come to the conclusion that my masking is as much a part of me as my autism and I therefore do not agonise about what is masking and what is not. The masking me is still the real me.

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  • Masking and camouflaging is done by almost all autistic people who are capable of doing so. It is a survival strategy. It only becomes a problem if it is causing distress, when it can lead to mental health problems. I mask almost seamlessly, and other than fatigue if I overdo socialising, it causes me no distress and is useful in navigating the allistic world. I have, after some thought, come to the conclusion that my masking is as much a part of me as my autism and I therefore do not agonise about what is masking and what is not. The masking me is still the real me.

Children
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