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How to bring up that my brother may have Autism?

michal7899

Hi everyone,

I have an older brother (33) who I feel may have autism. He still lives with my parents, doesn’t have any real friends, struggles making social connections and can’t stand crowded places e.g. restaurants. In addition to this, he has struggled holding down jobs and has issues controlling his emotions. I myself have struggled with mental health on and off throughout my adult life, and my ex-partner was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so I’ve had to educate myself a fair amount on mental health/disorders etc. 

My issue is that I don’t know how to bring up to him that he might have autism. Worried that he will snap at me and close off. I could very well be wrong since I’m not a therapist, but his symptoms do seem to match what I have read online. In an ideal world, he would go and seek therapy, and the therapist would then bring up the possibility of him having autism; he might be more open to the possibility if it comes from a therapist rather than his younger brother.   

I spoke to my mum about this once but she told me that they took him for a diagnosis when he was around 5 (mid-late 90s) because he had difficulties speaking, but that was in a small town in Eastern Europe, so I doubt that the diagnostic methods were as good as they are now.

Was anyone else in a similar situation? If so, how did you go about it? I’d appreciate any advice, since I do care and worry about my brother a lot.

Parents

  • This morning I plucked up the courage to tell my best friend that I had recently self-diagnosed with Autism. He immediately responded by telling me that he had known for several years. As a teacher, he had been trained to identify the signs with his students. But he had avoided bringing up the subject with me because he didn't want to risk upsetting me in any way. I told him that I wished he had said something a lot earlier. I suspect your brother could well feel the same way. 

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  • This morning I plucked up the courage to tell my best friend that I had recently self-diagnosed with Autism. He immediately responded by telling me that he had known for several years. As a teacher, he had been trained to identify the signs with his students. But he had avoided bringing up the subject with me because he didn't want to risk upsetting me in any way. I told him that I wished he had said something a lot earlier. I suspect your brother could well feel the same way. 

Children
  • in reply to TimC

    That’s true, maybe he does suspect something. I can tell he struggles in life, and I feel that a diagnosis (if he does indeed have autism) could point him in the right direction as to the tools and help that is out there.

    Also, well done for tell your friend that you have self diagnosed. Not an easy thing to share with somebody.

  • in reply to TimC

    Good going TimC, it's a hard thing to tell people about, but so glad you had a good response. Some people aren't happy to be told, so he was probably unsure about bringing it up, but was probably giving you accommodations without you having to ask.  It's nice that you can be yourself with your friend and he already accepts you for who you are!