Hi everyone,
So I have been attending some social events recently to hopefully make some new friends. The problem is I always feel so much pressure to speak that I end up being so nervous and not enjoying myself at the events. I don't know how to handle social situations!
Does anyone have any advice about socializing? I always feel like I'm doing the wrong thing and being awkward.
Hi Beech474
Great that you’ve been attending social events recently it’s easier said than done so good for you.
I would say try not to put yourself under too much pressure because most people like to talk about themselves and they love a good listener. So just observe and listen and when you feel comfortable give short responses.
I try to remember too that we do not appear to others how we have ourselves in our own mind, thank goodness they usually see a much better version of us. (The real one that’s so hard for us to see sometimes)
Maybe set some different small step goals for attending, Beech474 ?
For example, got there and back OK. Tick. Learned one interesting thing. Tick. Felt reasonably comfortable. Tick.
Whatever might make it feel more like a success.
It's OK just to listen sometimes and someone may ask you a question, which takes some pressure off knowing where to start.
Most people are OK, and will be more interested in whatever you say than you fear. If it goes a bit wrong, think about what you learned and have another go with someone else. If someone is rude, that's on them, not on you.
I really don't like crowds or big rooms full of people I don't know, so I look for someone who also looks a bit uncomfortable and have a little chat with them to get some early confidence.
It is easier with smaller groups (less pressure) or ones based on an interest (can guess what to talk about first).
Remember you are enough just as you are and everyone is interesting in some way. It's about finding your tribe, so maybe treat it curiously and playfully. as an experiment.
Hope this helps and good luck. 
