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Autism & Dating

Connor

I’ve never had a relationship, I’m 29 and recently diagnosed AuDHD (which may go some way to explaining it), I’ve tried dating apps which just seem the most pointless thing on earth, also not sure if I should or shouldn’t disclose my diagnosis.

Does anyone have any positive relationship experiences, if so, how did it come about? I’m quite sensitive so I highly doubt I’d approach someone for fear of rejection so my only options feels like it is dating apps, however I get no interest, I would like to meet someone but atm I just feel like giving up.  

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  • i Connor, I also have AuDHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago and Autism just last month. I’m over 50 and have used dating apps in the past, though I was undiagnosed at the time—which is likely why I wouldn't define those past relationships as positive. 
    Personally, I think dating apps can be dangerous, especially for those with ADHD, because of the constant dopamine rush. Unless you are on medication (which I haven't tried yet, meaning using the app while on my med), it’s easy to get swept up. I used to date a lot, but I wouldn't personally disclose my diagnosis right away. It’s not a fear of rejection—I couldn't care less about that—but rather that most people are ignorant about the subject. I don't want to waste my time educating someone who might be juggling 20 other conversations. 
    My advice is to just go by your feeling. Being autistic is a great gift; look closely at their profiles, see their stories, and pay attention to how they interact. Alternatively, I’m going to explore neurodivergent-specific dating apps. Take care, my friend.
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  • i Connor, I also have AuDHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago and Autism just last month. I’m over 50 and have used dating apps in the past, though I was undiagnosed at the time—which is likely why I wouldn't define those past relationships as positive. 
    Personally, I think dating apps can be dangerous, especially for those with ADHD, because of the constant dopamine rush. Unless you are on medication (which I haven't tried yet, meaning using the app while on my med), it’s easy to get swept up. I used to date a lot, but I wouldn't personally disclose my diagnosis right away. It’s not a fear of rejection—I couldn't care less about that—but rather that most people are ignorant about the subject. I don't want to waste my time educating someone who might be juggling 20 other conversations. 
    My advice is to just go by your feeling. Being autistic is a great gift; look closely at their profiles, see their stories, and pay attention to how they interact. Alternatively, I’m going to explore neurodivergent-specific dating apps. Take care, my friend.
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