• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 138 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Looking for advice after difficult Occupational Health experience (autism)

ava

Hi everyone,

I’m new to this group and also neurodivergent myself, so I hope it’s okay to ask for some advice.

My husband was recently diagnosed as autistic, and today he had an Occupational Health appointment related to long-term sickness (stress, anxiety, autistic burnout, migraines). I’m honestly quite shaken by how the appointment was handled. The OH GP’s communication felt very rigid and procedural, with little awareness of how overwhelming this kind of interaction can be for an autistic person.

During the appointment, my husband clearly explained that he is autistic, unwell, and struggling. When he asked why he wasn’t being helped, he was told things along the lines of “that’s not my role” and “this is just part of the process”. At other points, he was repeatedly asked “do you understand?” in a way that felt patronising rather than supportive, especially when he was clearly distressed and trying to explain himself.

There was a strong focus on paperwork, consent, and closing things off, but very little discussion about actual support, reasonable adjustments, or how he might realistically be helped to return to work. He came away confused, shut down, and feeling that his autism and vulnerability had not been properly recognised at all.

I’m trying to work out the safest way to respond. I’d really appreciate hearing from others who’ve been in similar situations:

  • How do you challenge this kind of interaction without making things harder for the autistic person involved?

It was genuinely very difficult to listen to, and I want to make sure our next steps protect my husband rather than add to the trauma.

Thank you so much for reading and for any advice or shared experiences.

Thanks,

ava

Parents

  • Hi ava

    The experiences you describe are upsetting and very familiar to me.

    I coincidentally had an OH appt. myself today 

    Happy to share some take learning opportunities I picked up.

    If the OH appt is arranged by referral from manager I believe one may be entitled to know what this states in advance of the appt.  Making sure this is open and is what one expects can help prepare.

    One may also be entitled to support at the meeting.  In my case it was a phone conversation and retrospectively learned i could have linked a third party to it.  In that case personally a Union representative would have been good.  (Having previously tried to get local autism support services involved and they were not rushing to act in that situation.)

    Little information was available to the assessor except for that I was able to present (e.g. access to my medical information despite me previously having given consent for this)  I recommend having a written list of response already prepared for questions about diagnoses etc may benefit (in the UK one can access one's own GP records if registered to do so)

    From the perspective of an occ health assessment such as this their role is to report to the employer about recommendations - then up to the employer to follow these after discussion with employee.

    Hard to say but I strongly suspect the situation you describe is likely one shared by many autistic people and their loved ones.  This is really sad and upsetting and also makes me a bit angry.

    Having been in the same situation myself w/r/to work, anxiety, I suspect depression post diagnosis and finding the whole thing completely overwhelming I can say that things for me have got better if that helps.  

    I had to prioritise recovering from burnout, I have come to realise how much of my life was spent in "survival mode" - I came up with this 

    To "survive burnout phoenix-style" means to recover and rise from it by first prioritizing rest and self-care, then setting realistic expectations and boundaries, seeking support from others, and finally reflecting on and reassessing your goals to rebuild a more balanced life that aligns with your values. This process takes time and involves self-reflection, reconnecting with passions, and celebrating small wins to find renewed joy and meaning.

    Best wishes to you and yours

Reply

  • Hi ava

    The experiences you describe are upsetting and very familiar to me.

    I coincidentally had an OH appt. myself today 

    Happy to share some take learning opportunities I picked up.

    If the OH appt is arranged by referral from manager I believe one may be entitled to know what this states in advance of the appt.  Making sure this is open and is what one expects can help prepare.

    One may also be entitled to support at the meeting.  In my case it was a phone conversation and retrospectively learned i could have linked a third party to it.  In that case personally a Union representative would have been good.  (Having previously tried to get local autism support services involved and they were not rushing to act in that situation.)

    Little information was available to the assessor except for that I was able to present (e.g. access to my medical information despite me previously having given consent for this)  I recommend having a written list of response already prepared for questions about diagnoses etc may benefit (in the UK one can access one's own GP records if registered to do so)

    From the perspective of an occ health assessment such as this their role is to report to the employer about recommendations - then up to the employer to follow these after discussion with employee.

    Hard to say but I strongly suspect the situation you describe is likely one shared by many autistic people and their loved ones.  This is really sad and upsetting and also makes me a bit angry.

    Having been in the same situation myself w/r/to work, anxiety, I suspect depression post diagnosis and finding the whole thing completely overwhelming I can say that things for me have got better if that helps.  

    I had to prioritise recovering from burnout, I have come to realise how much of my life was spent in "survival mode" - I came up with this 

    To "survive burnout phoenix-style" means to recover and rise from it by first prioritizing rest and self-care, then setting realistic expectations and boundaries, seeking support from others, and finally reflecting on and reassessing your goals to rebuild a more balanced life that aligns with your values. This process takes time and involves self-reflection, reconnecting with passions, and celebrating small wins to find renewed joy and meaning.

    Best wishes to you and yours

Children
No Data