Hi everyone,
I’m new to this group and also neurodivergent myself, so I hope it’s okay to ask for some advice.
My husband was recently diagnosed as autistic, and today he had an Occupational Health appointment related to long-term sickness (stress, anxiety, autistic burnout, migraines). I’m honestly quite shaken by how the appointment was handled. The OH GP’s communication felt very rigid and procedural, with little awareness of how overwhelming this kind of interaction can be for an autistic person.
During the appointment, my husband clearly explained that he is autistic, unwell, and struggling. When he asked why he wasn’t being helped, he was told things along the lines of “that’s not my role” and “this is just part of the process”. At other points, he was repeatedly asked “do you understand?” in a way that felt patronising rather than supportive, especially when he was clearly distressed and trying to explain himself.
There was a strong focus on paperwork, consent, and closing things off, but very little discussion about actual support, reasonable adjustments, or how he might realistically be helped to return to work. He came away confused, shut down, and feeling that his autism and vulnerability had not been properly recognised at all.
I’m trying to work out the safest way to respond. I’d really appreciate hearing from others who’ve been in similar situations:
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How do you challenge this kind of interaction without making things harder for the autistic person involved?
It was genuinely very difficult to listen to, and I want to make sure our next steps protect my husband rather than add to the trauma.
Thank you so much for reading and for any advice or shared experiences.
Thanks,
ava
