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Looking for advice after difficult Occupational Health experience (autism)

ava

Hi everyone,

I’m new to this group and also neurodivergent myself, so I hope it’s okay to ask for some advice.

My husband was recently diagnosed as autistic, and today he had an Occupational Health appointment related to long-term sickness (stress, anxiety, autistic burnout, migraines). I’m honestly quite shaken by how the appointment was handled. The OH GP’s communication felt very rigid and procedural, with little awareness of how overwhelming this kind of interaction can be for an autistic person.

During the appointment, my husband clearly explained that he is autistic, unwell, and struggling. When he asked why he wasn’t being helped, he was told things along the lines of “that’s not my role” and “this is just part of the process”. At other points, he was repeatedly asked “do you understand?” in a way that felt patronising rather than supportive, especially when he was clearly distressed and trying to explain himself.

There was a strong focus on paperwork, consent, and closing things off, but very little discussion about actual support, reasonable adjustments, or how he might realistically be helped to return to work. He came away confused, shut down, and feeling that his autism and vulnerability had not been properly recognised at all.

I’m trying to work out the safest way to respond. I’d really appreciate hearing from others who’ve been in similar situations:

  • How do you challenge this kind of interaction without making things harder for the autistic person involved?

It was genuinely very difficult to listen to, and I want to make sure our next steps protect my husband rather than add to the trauma.

Thank you so much for reading and for any advice or shared experiences.

Thanks,

ava

Parents
  • ava said:
    There was a strong focus on paperwork, consent, and closing things off

    This is very much the box ticking approach used by OH in my experience. They are designed to help the majority and as an autistic minority we are often left with staff who do not actually understand our complex needs so we only get the standard approach which has led to the experience you have here.

    This is a one size fits all appoach unfortunately and there seem few staff who really understand autism well enough to have a positive interaction with us.

    I think the fact this does not realy help your husbands situation is more a reflection of how much autism is not understood and how little companies like OH will adapt their services to accommodate these needs.

    Can you fault OH for this? Only a little in my opinion. They could do a lot better certainly but they are merely a refection of the bigger picture in society. Positive feedback and a request for someone with training in handling autistic people would be how I would approach this. Tell the their procedure seems OK but the way it was delivered was too rigid and you need someone who knows how to interact with an autistic person in distress for it to be meaningful for you.

    With this feedback they may re-evaluate and help and this can lead to an additional bit of push to improve their training.

    The real challenge for them is that every autist is different and have different needs so training their staff to help is an open ended task in some ways and needs skills that are probably beyond their job description.

    Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Reply
  • ava said:
    There was a strong focus on paperwork, consent, and closing things off

    This is very much the box ticking approach used by OH in my experience. They are designed to help the majority and as an autistic minority we are often left with staff who do not actually understand our complex needs so we only get the standard approach which has led to the experience you have here.

    This is a one size fits all appoach unfortunately and there seem few staff who really understand autism well enough to have a positive interaction with us.

    I think the fact this does not realy help your husbands situation is more a reflection of how much autism is not understood and how little companies like OH will adapt their services to accommodate these needs.

    Can you fault OH for this? Only a little in my opinion. They could do a lot better certainly but they are merely a refection of the bigger picture in society. Positive feedback and a request for someone with training in handling autistic people would be how I would approach this. Tell the their procedure seems OK but the way it was delivered was too rigid and you need someone who knows how to interact with an autistic person in distress for it to be meaningful for you.

    With this feedback they may re-evaluate and help and this can lead to an additional bit of push to improve their training.

    The real challenge for them is that every autist is different and have different needs so training their staff to help is an open ended task in some ways and needs skills that are probably beyond their job description.

    Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you Lain, I agree that this feels like a reflection of the bigger picture in society, sadly. I appreciate your suggestions - that’s very much the approach we’re planning to take. The emotional toll has been huge, but we’ll be feeding this back and asking for someone with appropriate understanding next time.