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How Do You Know What You Need?

NAS39135

Hello, 

I hate the question 'what do you need at this time?' 

Ugh. A headache I don't need. 

This usually comes from health professionals when I go to then for a medically related issue. But since being under MAIN (a charity organisation that supports people with Autism), every time I go to then saying I am struggling I can't explain it and they ask this question and I never know how to answer it. 

I am a survivor of multiple types of abuse, I have abandonment issues from the relationship with my mum and other relationships I've had in life. I have complex grief as a result. I'm not sure whether my life has a way forward out of all these issues. I write fantasy novels but don't stand a chance of getting them published. I don't have the skills. 

I wish it was as simple as talking to someone professionally and explaining this and them saying 'You know what? I have the perfect solution.' 

But it's not. 

What do you do when you can't be heard by the very people who are supposed to help you? 

Parents

  • I agree with Stuart it's a very badly worded question, the one that bugs me is 'what do you hope to achieve from this visit?' It feels really passive aggressive and like they've no real interest in helping or finding out what your problems are and how they can help. I had a ll this with a recent call with the pain clinic, all they told me was what they can't or won't do and nothing that they do, do. I felt like I had to be some kind of code breaker, that if I worded my reply in a certain way that a whole new world of opportunities would open up. I had a ridiculous situation with an autistic support group, where they couldn't seem to tell me what they could do for me, unless I asked specifically. It felt like going round in ever decreasing circles and like I was going mad.

    It feels like being gaslit for having a problem they can't write a prescription for. The other thing is being shoved on to another agency and the whole sorry round starts again.

    In short the answer to your questions is I've pretty much stopped asking and have very low expectations when I do ask and a tendency to get up and walk out or end the phone call when faced with so much BS. 

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  • I agree with Stuart it's a very badly worded question, the one that bugs me is 'what do you hope to achieve from this visit?' It feels really passive aggressive and like they've no real interest in helping or finding out what your problems are and how they can help. I had a ll this with a recent call with the pain clinic, all they told me was what they can't or won't do and nothing that they do, do. I felt like I had to be some kind of code breaker, that if I worded my reply in a certain way that a whole new world of opportunities would open up. I had a ridiculous situation with an autistic support group, where they couldn't seem to tell me what they could do for me, unless I asked specifically. It felt like going round in ever decreasing circles and like I was going mad.

    It feels like being gaslit for having a problem they can't write a prescription for. The other thing is being shoved on to another agency and the whole sorry round starts again.

    In short the answer to your questions is I've pretty much stopped asking and have very low expectations when I do ask and a tendency to get up and walk out or end the phone call when faced with so much BS. 

Children
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