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Are autistic people nice people?

soboiceland

I’m curious about how autistic people are perceived socially, particularly around ideas like “niceness” and friendliness, which can be quite subjective and culturally defined.

From your own experiences, how do you interpret or experience interactions with autistic people? Do you think differences in communication style affect how autistic people are perceived as “nice” or not?

For those who have autistic friends (or are autistic themselves), what do you value in those friendships? What do you think autistic people often bring to relationships that might be overlooked or misunderstood?

I don't believe I've had autistic friends and don't seek autistic people out as potential friends so I'm curious to know whether other people are the similar.

Parents

  • You might note that autistic people are significantly over represented in the prison population. There may be some reasons for that, but it doesn't seem likely they are all nice.

    Being autistic is a collection of challenges and a spiky profile. Background, lifestyle, environment, etc. shape you too.

    You are not defined by autism or separate from NT people. I know people with ASD, with other ND conditions, NT people. I get along, or don't get along, with people independent of neuro type.

    What is more important is compatible temperament. Inconsistent people with wild mood swings and unpredictable behaviour are a problem as it prevents modelling and causes a threat response. This also applies to oneself, as this makes it hard for others too.

    Self-regulation, politeness, effective communication and toned-down defensiveness, plus shared interests, are what matter.

    Autistic people bring their own perspective, same as anyone. The more you do, read, see, think and experience, the more you have to say. First hand experience trumps what you read or see online, which is why doing things matters, even if it is growing plants on your window ledge, painting pictures of the seasons looking out your window. It is not money but observation and imagination that are the commodity. Then all you need is the confidence to speak up. 

    Autism can provide a richer perspective based upon different sensory input, greater introspection and consideration. But it depends on whether you cultivate it or embrace it.

Reply

  • You might note that autistic people are significantly over represented in the prison population. There may be some reasons for that, but it doesn't seem likely they are all nice.

    Being autistic is a collection of challenges and a spiky profile. Background, lifestyle, environment, etc. shape you too.

    You are not defined by autism or separate from NT people. I know people with ASD, with other ND conditions, NT people. I get along, or don't get along, with people independent of neuro type.

    What is more important is compatible temperament. Inconsistent people with wild mood swings and unpredictable behaviour are a problem as it prevents modelling and causes a threat response. This also applies to oneself, as this makes it hard for others too.

    Self-regulation, politeness, effective communication and toned-down defensiveness, plus shared interests, are what matter.

    Autistic people bring their own perspective, same as anyone. The more you do, read, see, think and experience, the more you have to say. First hand experience trumps what you read or see online, which is why doing things matters, even if it is growing plants on your window ledge, painting pictures of the seasons looking out your window. It is not money but observation and imagination that are the commodity. Then all you need is the confidence to speak up. 

    Autism can provide a richer perspective based upon different sensory input, greater introspection and consideration. But it depends on whether you cultivate it or embrace it.

Children
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