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family not helping, getting really lonely and frustrated

vermire

im really lonely recently because no ones really helping me with anything. i do have friends but a lot of the time i feel like i cant talk to them because they have their own issues and whenever i talk to people recently they just dont seem to care

i have trouble filling forms out and understanding forms and official letters and stuff and im 19 so i have to fill that kind of thing in sometimes, but my mum just doesnt help. she keeps saying stuff like im grown up now so i should be able to do it and i wont know if i can do it until i try, but i have tried and i cant, but she wont listen. i dont understand half the questions or how to answer them and i dont understand most of the stuff i need to do to get things like passports and buspasses and id and my bank account and support groups/therapy/help with speech and my optician appointments sorted out so i can live like an adult instead of feeling like a pathetic child. 

she keeps saying shell get my cat back but its been months and shes not done anything and when i was lonely before he was the only one who helped me and he helped me alot 

because i cant talk i cant really go to the doctors or other places on my own to get things sorted out i have to have my mum with me but she hardly ever makes the time and puts stuff off for ages or doesnt bring it up for weeks.

when i try to explain all this to her she just tells me im wrong for feeling so upset and she goes and tells my brothers exactly whats going on and they laugh at me in the other room and it just makes me feel so much worse. (and they use the wrong name and pronouns, i have gender issues but thats not really related to this. its just another thing my family does that makes me feel pathetic and weird.)

i need help and support from somewhere and nowhere offers help for autistic adults around where i live (manchester) and im getting really lonely. i cant talk to my friends about it and my family dont listen and ive not been able to sleep at all recently because ive been too sad.  (sad to the point ive been thinking some pretty bad things. im not going to act on them but at some points its seemed like a good idae.)

if you have advice that would be good (other than trying to talk to her again or trying again to fill in the forms on my own, none of those work.)

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    vermire said:

    thank you all for the advice and help!!! c: i wasnt expecting as much response to my post so thank you!

    You are welcome, perhaps this community can help you feel less lonely. If you stick around you will get to know some people in your age group and others who can share their experiences and make you feel less isolated.

    i dont think im taking things too literally here, but i have read about it (and if i was, i think shed still be in the wrong. ive been telling her over and over that these things are upsetting me and even if shes joking its not ok for her to keep doing it)

    one of the things that I think outraged was suggesting was to not let your mother upset you so much. This is a thing that you have more control over than you might think. If you try and let go a bit and try to make more of your own choices then you might feel less angry about what she thinks or says. Most of the time she really won't be trying to upset you as she will be worrying about her own problems and thinking about it from her (possibly?) slightly self centred point of view. Being grown up enough to start making your own choices about things can be very exciting even if sometimes things go wrong. (It's OK to make mistakes, everyone does this every day!)

    Smile

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    vermire said:

    thank you all for the advice and help!!! c: i wasnt expecting as much response to my post so thank you!

    You are welcome, perhaps this community can help you feel less lonely. If you stick around you will get to know some people in your age group and others who can share their experiences and make you feel less isolated.

    i dont think im taking things too literally here, but i have read about it (and if i was, i think shed still be in the wrong. ive been telling her over and over that these things are upsetting me and even if shes joking its not ok for her to keep doing it)

    one of the things that I think outraged was suggesting was to not let your mother upset you so much. This is a thing that you have more control over than you might think. If you try and let go a bit and try to make more of your own choices then you might feel less angry about what she thinks or says. Most of the time she really won't be trying to upset you as she will be worrying about her own problems and thinking about it from her (possibly?) slightly self centred point of view. Being grown up enough to start making your own choices about things can be very exciting even if sometimes things go wrong. (It's OK to make mistakes, everyone does this every day!)

    Smile

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