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family not helping, getting really lonely and frustrated

vermire

im really lonely recently because no ones really helping me with anything. i do have friends but a lot of the time i feel like i cant talk to them because they have their own issues and whenever i talk to people recently they just dont seem to care

i have trouble filling forms out and understanding forms and official letters and stuff and im 19 so i have to fill that kind of thing in sometimes, but my mum just doesnt help. she keeps saying stuff like im grown up now so i should be able to do it and i wont know if i can do it until i try, but i have tried and i cant, but she wont listen. i dont understand half the questions or how to answer them and i dont understand most of the stuff i need to do to get things like passports and buspasses and id and my bank account and support groups/therapy/help with speech and my optician appointments sorted out so i can live like an adult instead of feeling like a pathetic child. 

she keeps saying shell get my cat back but its been months and shes not done anything and when i was lonely before he was the only one who helped me and he helped me alot 

because i cant talk i cant really go to the doctors or other places on my own to get things sorted out i have to have my mum with me but she hardly ever makes the time and puts stuff off for ages or doesnt bring it up for weeks.

when i try to explain all this to her she just tells me im wrong for feeling so upset and she goes and tells my brothers exactly whats going on and they laugh at me in the other room and it just makes me feel so much worse. (and they use the wrong name and pronouns, i have gender issues but thats not really related to this. its just another thing my family does that makes me feel pathetic and weird.)

i need help and support from somewhere and nowhere offers help for autistic adults around where i live (manchester) and im getting really lonely. i cant talk to my friends about it and my family dont listen and ive not been able to sleep at all recently because ive been too sad.  (sad to the point ive been thinking some pretty bad things. im not going to act on them but at some points its seemed like a good idae.)

if you have advice that would be good (other than trying to talk to her again or trying again to fill in the forms on my own, none of those work.)

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    outraged said:

    About the mother; if shes not going to support you, you need to edit the expectation of support from that quarter from your worldview in order not to feel let down.

    outraged, i'm afraid i had to read that a couple of times before i understood what you were on about. Your writing style is sometimes of the standard of government communications! 

    I think what outraged meant is that your mother not sympathetic. Perhaps she is too set in her ways to change her attitude? Perhaps you should accept this, as an unfortunate fact of life, rather than fight it. Perhaps it is time to try and move on And become more independent?

    I think i read your post in the same way that outraged did and i think i agree with what he says if we have understood you correctly. Your situation sounds really bad and it sounds as though you need someone to help you who really understands what you are going through.

    another way of looking at things is that you are perhaps taking things too literally? Perhaps your mother is trying to help by telling you not to worry about things and perhaps your brothers are not being deliberately cruel but perhaps they are trying to be light hearted? It really is difficult to work these things out sometimes. It is sometimes difficult to work things out from what people write in their posts.

    taking things too literally is a common problem for us and this is one of the signs that is used to identify whether we have an autism condition. Have you read about this part of the problem?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    outraged said:

    About the mother; if shes not going to support you, you need to edit the expectation of support from that quarter from your worldview in order not to feel let down.

    outraged, i'm afraid i had to read that a couple of times before i understood what you were on about. Your writing style is sometimes of the standard of government communications! 

    I think what outraged meant is that your mother not sympathetic. Perhaps she is too set in her ways to change her attitude? Perhaps you should accept this, as an unfortunate fact of life, rather than fight it. Perhaps it is time to try and move on And become more independent?

    I think i read your post in the same way that outraged did and i think i agree with what he says if we have understood you correctly. Your situation sounds really bad and it sounds as though you need someone to help you who really understands what you are going through.

    another way of looking at things is that you are perhaps taking things too literally? Perhaps your mother is trying to help by telling you not to worry about things and perhaps your brothers are not being deliberately cruel but perhaps they are trying to be light hearted? It really is difficult to work these things out sometimes. It is sometimes difficult to work things out from what people write in their posts.

    taking things too literally is a common problem for us and this is one of the signs that is used to identify whether we have an autism condition. Have you read about this part of the problem?

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